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IDK if this is a repost..... it's good period.

I'll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:

I got a vasectomy.

I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.

I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.

We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully.

Four months into dating, I get the "I'm pregnant" talk. She's going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married "for the baby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she's gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.

At this point, I'm just as giddy. I get to pull the reverse "oops" on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can't think beyond their own uteri.

So I wait a couple of days to "think about all this." I meet her again. I say I don't want kids and that she should have an abortion. I know where this is going and sure enough it goes there. She goes completely batshit insane on me. There were the usual insults about my manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was loving every minute of it.

Well, I let her stew for a few days. She leaves me nasty messages on my phone. She sends awful emails. I'm laughing hysterically.

It was time to drop the hammer. While she was stewing I was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who performed the vasectomy. Next I get a notarized copy of the TWO test results indicating a "negative test result for sperm" to show I'm sterile and shooting blanks. Finally, I get a letter from a shark attorney stating he has seen the other documents and is prepared to litigate against this woman if she continues to communicate with me in such an unpleasant manner. Also, the letter states that we will insist on DNA testing to show that the baby is not mine. I'm ready.

I meet with this woman at her place. I bring flowers and a small bit of jewelry to show I am willing to reconcile and assume my responsibilities as a new father. I also have stuck in my pocket the documents I have prepared.

She's all giddy again. Her plan is going perfectly - or so she thinks. We talk about our future. We have some pretty good sex. Then, as I am about to walk out the door, I ask her the $64,000 question. "Are you sure that this baby is mine?"

Well, she goes batshit insane again. Hell, she ought to. Her plan could completely unravel if there is ANY question about my paternity. Oh, she's really screaming now. How dare I question her morals. Do I think she's a slut. I'm just trying to weasel out of my responsibilities... blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I'm not really mad. I'm kind of embarrassed for her. But since she won't shut up and the neighbors can hear all of this, I ask her to step back inside and sit down. She sits on the sofa and calms down a bit. She is glaring at me with all the moral self-righteousness that only a woman can muster up. She thinks she has me trapped. She is 100% convinced her plan has worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit she has wrought around herself and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper.

I reach into my pocket slowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them slowly and deliberately.

I tell her simply, "You're screwed".

Her look doesn't change. There is no way she can fathom what I have prepared.

I continue. "I am sterile"

Her look changes just a bit. Something is beginning to sink in. Naturally, she reverts to women's logic. "You're full of shit. You're trapped and you know it."

I hold up the letter and the test results. "Three months before we met, I had a vasectomy. Here is a notarized letter from him stating what I had done. Here are two test results showing that I tested negative for the presence of sperm. Blanks. I am shooting blanks. That baby inside you is simply not mine."

This woman is not to be swayed by logic and clear documentation. "Bullshit, those are fakes."

I was ready for that. "No, they are real. This last piece of paper is from my attorney. It's a simple letter to you that states if you pursue any kind of legal action against me for child support that I will insist on a DNA test to prove paternity, that is, to prove that your baby is not mine."

I give the woman all the documents. She reads them slowly, deliberately. With each passing second she can feel in her soul that she has made a very bad mistake. With denial swept away, she started to cry. It's a small cry at first. Then it becomes deeper and more painful. By the time she gets to the letter from the lawyer she is sobbing.

I had no sympathy for her. I turned and walked out the door. Even after I closed the door I could still hear her sobbing.

Epilogue -

I never heard directly from this woman again. I did hear through my friends that she did indeed have the baby. I also heard that the real father was some guy in a band she had met. I assumed that after 30, women stopped going after musicians, bikers, criminals, and thugs. Silly me for thinking the best of American women.

The Moral of the Story -

Get a vasectomy but keep it a secret.






I love craigslist! :mrgreen:
 

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It’s nice to see that that a female running a scam on you did not work. But I find it sad when ever abortion comes up as an option or the thought of that baby growing up in a potentially and probably home without a father.

The shining light in your story is that you did not have to pay for a kid that is not yours. The overwhelming shitty part is that there is a baby now here in the world who needs unconditional love and most likely will not get it from a father. I realize that it is through no fault of you own and you are zero percent responsible. I find no humor in your story, sorry bro. :rolleyes:

EDIT:I see now that this is not first hand and this did not happen to you…. It is not funny at all….
 

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.........But I find it sad when ever abortion comes up as an option or the thought of that baby growing up in a potentially and probably home without a father.

........ The overwhelming shitty part is that there is a baby now here in the world who needs unconditional love and most likely will not get it from a father. I realize that it is through no fault of you own and you are zero percent responsible. I find no humor in your story, sorry bro. :rolleyes:

EDIT:I see now that this is not first hand and this did not happen to you…. It is not funny at all….
:+1:
 

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i think its funny as hell, cheating lying bitch got what she deserved. Women in this world have it so easy to put blame on guys that have done nothing and get away with it(if they are trying to). You hear about fake sexual harassment charges, and shit like this....I dont think that story could have turned out any better
 

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i didn't see thi sbefore...thanks for the repost, i tthought it was funny as hell
 

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i think its funny as hell, cheating lying bitch got what she deserved. Women in this world have it so easy to put blame on guys that have done nothing and get away with it(if they are trying to). You hear about fake sexual harassment charges, and shit like this....I dont think that story could have turned out any better
:+1:
 

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New to me and I got a chuckle out of it - sneaky biotch got what she had coming to her. :headshake
 

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Discussion Starter #9
yeah it's another best of craigslist yall. This is a hit or miss, with everyone. some people find it funny, some find it not. I think it's one of the best stories ever because I know karma is a bitch.
 

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that was funny, too bad more bitches like that cant get screwed the same way. Its like micheal jordans wife getting the biggest settlement for alamony ever, and for what? sitting on her ass while he made people like me who dont even watch basketball pay attention to the sport because he was great.
 

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How is it that she's the "bad guy"?

The guy just wanted sex for free. Seems he may owe her $ thousands.

Is this the way he'd like his daughter/sister/mother treated in the first place?

One heckuva double standard kids.
 

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How is it that she's the "bad guy"?

The guy just wanted sex for free. Seems he may owe her $ thousands.

Is this the way he'd like his daughter/sister/mother treated in the first place?

One heckuva double standard kids.

He was not misleading her, he used condoms, I think its a pretty clear indication that he did not want a kid or desease with her.
 

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I feel sorry for the guy and the kid but not at all for the woman.

The guy because he got mixed up with some tramp trying to trap him into raising a kid that wasn't his and the kid who has to grow up with a trifling mother and without a decent father figure.

To say the guy was the bad one is ludicrous, the mother lied, cheated and basically tried to extort money out the guy to pay for her skanky behavior!

I say fuck her, she got what she deserved!! :headshake
 

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that was funny, too bad more bitches like that cant get screwed the same way. Its like micheal jordans wife getting the biggest settlement for alamony ever, and for what? sitting on her ass while he made people like me who dont even watch basketball pay attention to the sport because he was great.
:+1: Buddy of mine just lost his house, custody of his daughter and all the things he paid for over 20 yrs of marriage. She on the other hand never worked a real job during their entire marriage yet gets everything, talk about double standards :rolleyes:

Women wonder why it takes men so long to get married or why they have no interest in it :lol:
 

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The same thing happened to me. I have had a vasectomy for over 12 years and the woman got pregnant by some loser that left her. The condom broke the first time we had sex and 1 month later, she tells me that she is pregnant and its mine. I told her that I had a vasectomy long before we met, I never heard from her again.
 

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I feel sorry for the guy and the kid but not at all for the woman.

The guy because he got mixed up with some tramp trying to trap him into raising a kid that wasn't his and the kid who has to grow up with a trifling mother and without a decent father figure.

To say the guy was the bad one is ludicrous, the mother lied, cheated and basically tried to extort money out the guy to pay for her skanky behavior!

I say fuck her, she got what she deserved!! :headshake
:iamwithst
 

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The same thing happened to me. I have had a vasectomy for over 12 years and the woman got pregnant by some loser that left her. The condom broke the first time we had sex and 1 month later, she tells me that she is pregnant and its mine. I told her that I had a vasectomy long before we met, I never heard from her again.
think about how many times its happened to the guy that hasn't had his nuts cut
 
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