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Somehow, I felt this belonged in this forum...

The 'Rules of the South' are as follows!!!


1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat catfish &; crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Real chili never met a tomato!

13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

16. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities, Universities, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.

17. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

18. The south is the greatest!! If you are from the south you are part of the best people in the USA!!

 

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I know that is a fake. There was proper punctuation in that letter! lol!
 

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gpz1100 said:
lunitk should see this, seeing as he's getting tired of winters where he lives now. :lol:
82 deg.here today! I saw a couple of mistakes...or at least to me.We like tomatoes in the chili but it must be cooked a long time.Where is I40?It must be up North somewhere.Ride safe.....Les
 

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My wife cooks some fantastic chili. Easy too. Calls it "ten can chili". And yes there are plenty of tomatoes in it, just the way I like it. :thumbsup:
 

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I just got back at about 630 pm from N.C. I miss the south already. I did buy a house when I was there because I will be home in May. WOOOOHOOOO!!
I was there for about 16 days and I tell you the sweet tea is better than I remember, The biscuits are still the best and you can order just about anything with meat on it with the option of pork. I loved the Barbecue and I am gonna cry:sad: if I think about it anymore because we have got a forecast for 6 more inches of snow on thursday:sad: and I haven't gotten to ride my bike in months. This place really does suck. But I did buy a house when I was down there this time.:bling: It is on, Like donkey kong ,when I move back!!!!!:zx_red:
 

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hangman39 said:
And they forgot one important one your tea must be sweet.
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The only place I can find Sweet Tea here in D.C. is at McDonalds!! WTF is up with that? The want to give you regular tea then tell you to add your own sugar! It's not the same :rant:.

Also High School Football is as important as College Football!!!
 

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zeta xray said:
Yup. And we thank God every day for that.
Damn straight! And what's with salt, pepper, and ketsup?? Author musta neva met a coonass!!! My herb rack gets regular refreshments of garlic powder, red pepper, jalapeno pepper, black pepper, and the all important Tony Chachere's!! :beer:
 

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miykl said:
Damn straight! And what's with salt, pepper, and ketsup?? Author musta neva met a coonass!!! My herb rack gets regular refreshments of garlic powder, red pepper, jalapeno pepper, black pepper, and the all important Tony Chachere's!! :beer:

:+1: Guess they don't know how to use spices. :lol:
 
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