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Discussion Starter #1
Two muffins are in the oven, one says, wow its getting hot in here. The other sceams and says. ahhhhh a talking muffin.:crackup:
 

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While we're doing lame jokes...


So a grass hopper walks into a bar..the bartender yells "we have a drink named after you!"

The grass hopper says you have a drink called larry?!?
 

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3 women are in line for death via firing squad. The brunette yells "tornado!" The squad runs away and she goes free. The redhead yells "Hurricane!" The squad runs away and she goes free. The blonde steps up for her turn and screams "Fire!"
 

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3 women are in line for death via firing squad. The brunette yells "tornado!" The squad runs away and she goes free. The redhead yells "Hurricane!" The squad runs away and she goes free. The blonde steps up for her turn and screams "Fire!"
:lol:

Gotta love the blonde jokes.

Sent from my SGH-T989
 

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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It's this really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it...
 

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Discussion Starter #6
A guy is out in a boat stranded in the middle of a lake, motor dont work and has no paddles. A while later his buddy shows up at the shore with a trashy lookin girl on each arm, the man in the boat says no you idiot I said two ore's.
 

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Starbucks Connoisseur
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Q: Why is Starbucks removing the trans-fat from their menu?
A: Because they want that Frappacino to pad your ass without clogging your arteries!

Q: Why is Starbucks promising their customers "Your drink should be perfect every time. If not, let us know and we'll make it right."?
A: To torture their employees

Q: How did Federal Authorities figure out that there is a complex underground drug smuggling tunnel near the US-Mexico border?
A: It had it's own Starbucks!

Q: What is the new Starbucks sponsored Paul McCartney song?
A: Latte it Be!

Q: Why can Starbucks get away with charging outrageous prices for coffee?
A: Because they have Italian titles for everything!


:lol:

Gotta love the blonde jokes.


And for Brian:

A blonde is working at the local Starbucks. A lady walks in and orders an Iced Cappuccino.''Do you want it hot or cold?''


.
 

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Does not drive into smoke
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2,156 Posts
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
 

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why did the walrus go to the bar?
he was looking for a tight seal
 

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Servo's Eliminatus ;)
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A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender say's, "Why the long face"?

A guy walks into a bar, see's a pretty woman sitting at the bar.
So he belly's up to the bar next to her, orders a drink,
leans over and whispers to her,
"Hey baby, I sure could use a little p*ssy".
She leans over and says, "Me too, mines as big as a house".....
 

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What happened to the Chinese guy who ran into a wall with a boner?





He broke his nose.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Mr and mrs wong go to the hospital to have a baby, the birth goes well the nurses go and take the baby to make shur its ok, a while later the nurse brings in the baby hands it to mrs wong, the new mom and dad look at the baby and the baby is white, well they know that two wongs dont make a white, but they take the baby anyway and love it and name it sumting wong.
 

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Q: Why is Starbucks removing the trans-fat from their menu?
A: Because they want that Frappacino to pad your ass without clogging your arteries!

Q: Why is Starbucks promising their customers "Your drink should be perfect every time. If not, let us know and we'll make it right."?
A: To torture their employees

Q: How did Federal Authorities figure out that there is a complex underground drug smuggling tunnel near the US-Mexico border?
A: It had it's own Starbucks!

Q: What is the new Starbucks sponsored Paul McCartney song?
A: Latte it Be!

Q: Why can Starbucks get away with charging outrageous prices for coffee?
A: Because they have Italian titles for everything!






And for Brian:

A blonde is working at the local Starbucks. A lady walks in and orders an Iced Cappuccino.''Do you want it hot or cold?''


.
I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again. I hope Starbucks pays you Static! :lol:

Sent from my SGH-T989
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Wife walked im on me blow drying my balls, she said what the fuck are you doin, I says warming up your dinner
 

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Discussion Starter #18
A blond takes her goldfish in to the vet and says, I think my fish has turrets, the vet looks at the fish and says it looks fine, the blond says well ya I havent taken him out of the bowl yet.
 

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Servo's Eliminatus ;)
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6,813 Posts
I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell bitch,
And I wrote down your name.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
3rd grade class I detroit was having a discussion on farm animals, the teacher asked the class what sound a pig makes little tyrone in the back of the roomraised his hand, the teacher said yes tyrone, he says a pig goes FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER.:lol:
 
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