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Why Beer is Better Then Women

  1. You can enjoy beer all month long.
  2. Beer stains wash out.
  3. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
  4. Your beer will always wait patiently in the car while you play football.
  5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.
  6. Beer is never late.
  7. Hangovers go away.
  8. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
  9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
  10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
  11. Beer never has a headache.
  12. After you've had a beer the bottle is still worth a dime.
  13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer on your breath.
  14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
  15. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
  16. A beer always goes down easy.
  17. You can share a beer with your friends.
  18. You always know when you're the first one to pop a beer.
  19. Beer is always wet.
  20. Beer doesn't demand equality.
  21. You can have a beer in public.
  22. A beer doesn't care when you come.
  23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
  24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
  25. If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony

Classes for Women 101

  • General Education:

    • [*]GE101: Why the Toilet Seat Has Hinges
      [*]GE102: Checkbook Balancing (formerly "Remedial Third Grade Arithmetic")
      [*]GE103: How to Drive a Nail Without Breaking One
      [*]GE104: How to Parallel Park
      [*]GE105: Why Going to the Bathroom is Not a Group Activity
      [*]GE106: Road Maps and Other Crutches for Spineless Wimps
      [*]GE107: Why a Bad Sports Telecast is Better Than a Good Soap Opera

    [*]Home Economics:
    • HE101a: Over-Laundering - Why Clothing Wears Out Premature
    • HE101b: Over-Vacuuming - Why Carpets Wear Out Prematurely
    • HE101c: Over-Dusting - Why Furniture Wears Out Prematurely
    • HE101d: Over-Washing - Why Dishes Wear Out Prematurely
    • HE102: How to Avoid Spending Money You Don't Have (formerly "How to Cut Credit Cards in Half")
    • HE103: Overcoming "The Imelda Syndrome" (formerly called "How Many Feet Do You Have, Anyway?")
    [*]Interpersonal Relationships:
    • IR101: How to Say "No" With Kindness and Appreciation
    • IR102: Why Men Enjoy Grocery Shopping About As Much As Women Enjoy Watching Roller Derby
    • IR103: Submission - a Biblical Perspective (prereq: SE101a or b)
    • IR104: Marriage - The Number One Cause of Divorce
    • IR105: Preposterous Mood Swings (PMS) (formerly "Keeping Your Personal Problems from Ruining Everyone Else's Life Too")
    • IR106: Understanding Men's Revulsion to Tampon Commercials (formerly called "We Know What That Little 'Plastic Applicator' is REALLY For!")
    [*]Sex Education:
    • SE101a: How to Say "Yes"
    • SE101b: How to Say "No" But Mean "Yes"
    • SE102: Sex - It's Not Just for Breakfast Anymore
    • SE103: Who Belongs on Top and Why
    • SE104: Lingerie - The Gift that Keeps On Giving
    • SE105: Sexual Alternatives for "That Time of the Month" (formerly titled "Any Old Port in a Storm"
    Girl Speak Translated

    Girlspeak To English Dictionary

    She says English
    --------- -------
    You want You want
    We need I want
    It's your decision The correct decision should be
    obvious by now
    Do what you want You'll pay for this later
    We need to talk I need to complain
    Sure...go ahead I don't want you to.
    I'm not upset Of course I'm upset, you moron.
    You're...so manly You need a shave and you sweat
    a lot.
    You're certainly attentive tonight. Is sex all you ever think
    I'm not emotional! And I'm not I'm on my period.
    In Overreacting!

    Be romantic, turn out the lights. I have flabby thighs.
    This kitchen is so inconvenient. I want a new house.
    I want new curtains and carpeting, furniture,
    Hang the picture there No, I mean hang it there!
    I heard a noise I noticed you were almost
    Do you love me? I'm going to ask for something
    How much do you love me? I did something today you're
    really not going to
    I'll be ready in a minute. Kick off your shoes and find a
    good game on T.V.

    Is my butt fat? Tell me I'm beautiful.
    You have to learn to communicate. Just agree with me.
    Are you listening to me!? [Too late, your dead.]
    Yes No
    No No
    Maybe No
    I'm sorry. You'll be sorry.
    Do you like this recipe? It's easy to fix, so you'd
    better get get used to it.AA
    I'm not yelling! Yes I am yelling because I
    think this is important.
    In answer to the question "What's wrong?"

    The same old thing. Nothing.
    Nothing. Everything.
    Everything. My PMS is acting up.
    Nothing, really. It's just that you're such an
    I don't want to talk about it. Go away, I'm still building up
    evidence against you.


2,644 Posts
Those were great :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
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