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I really need to get out of the house
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There was this couple that was married for 20 years, and everytime they made love the husband insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was stupid. She figured she would break him out of the crazy habit.

So one night, while they were in the middle of a romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery operated pleasure devise. She got extremely upset. "You impotent bastard!" she screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself."

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly, "I'll explain the toy if you explain the kids."
 
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