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A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side...You know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck, get the f**k away from me."
 

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reminds me of an ex that phoned me out of the blue and wanted to get back with it. She was tellin me of all the things we used to do and what she wanted to do to me now.

I said "you know, I aint quite the same any more - i put on some weight and lost some hair"

She said that she thought bald men were sexy

I said "Ok then, i'm up for that"

She said "anyways, I put on some weight too"

I said "f*ck off you fat bitch"
 

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:lol: :crackup:
 

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grunty-motor said:
reminds me of an ex that phoned me out of the blue and wanted to get back with it. She was tellin me of all the things we used to do and what she wanted to do to me now.

I said "you know, I aint quite the same any more - i put on some weight and lost some hair"

She said that she thought bald men were sexy

I said "Ok then, i'm up for that"

She said "anyways, I put on some weight too"

I said "f*ck off you fat bitch"
:crackup: :crackup:
 

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grunty-motor said:
reminds me of an ex that phoned me out of the blue and wanted to get back with it. She was tellin me of all the things we used to do and what she wanted to do to me now.

I said "you know, I aint quite the same any more - i put on some weight and lost some hair"

She said that she thought bald men were sexy

I said "Ok then, i'm up for that"

She said "anyways, I put on some weight too"

I said "f*ck off you fat bitch"
:lol: :lol: :lol:
 
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