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Harold is 92 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after
dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit,
smoke a cigar, listen to music, ponder his accomplishments and reflect on
his long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 86, wanders into the garden. They begin to
chat, and before they know it, several hours had passed.

After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred
asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"

She asks, "What?"

"SEX!!" he replies.

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held
a gun to your head!"

"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just
hold it for a while"

"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his
manhood and proceeds to hold it.

Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where
they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.

Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place.
Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was OK. She
walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by
the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing Bastard! What does Ethel have
that I don't have?"
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's."
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