Kawasaki ZX-10R Forum banner

1 - 20 of 46 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
409 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Let me start off by saying that I'm in no rush to get married. Nor am I looking for justification to propose. I'm just looking for advice for those of you who have been there, good and bad. This is my first time being in a relationship where I have felt like marriage was a real possibility.

Backstory: I am 23 yrs old, college grad, and just landed a job. She is 22 and also a grad who has a good job. We have been dating a year. I'll spare you all the mushy details, but I really can't see myself with ever wanting to be with anybody else. And recently, the thought of marriage/engagement/proposal is starting to linger in my mind. Not necessarily that I should do it, but just that it is the next logical step.

I have other friends that have been dating for 3-6 years and they aren't engaged. I don't think I could see myself waiting that long. But at the same time, I feel like a year isnt long enough.

When did you know your significant other was "the one?" Have you ever felt that way about somebody and then lost it? How long do you think you should be with somebody before you take the plunge? Anything to look out for?

Any advice is welcome, and thanks guys :eek:ccasion1
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,161 Posts
wait as long as you possibly can............ cause if things don't work out you can get your stuff and leave, and if you're married she will take your stuff and you will leave lol
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,788 Posts
I think it is more personal than a single time frame. I had a friend who married is best friend in college. they never dated just hung out alot and got close then thought lets make this permanent. They were happily married for 10 years when she died from a tubal pregnancy. he was pretty tore up and moped for 9 months met somebody and was getting married 3 months later. They seem happy after 2 years together.

My parents were knew each other for 4 months. they made it 24 years before they divorced but not really happy the last 15. Then I worked with a guy that had been living with his girlfriend for 3 years (not sure how long they knew each other before moved in together). He was faithful for all that time but 3 months after they said "I do" she was feeling trapped and looking for some strange.

I don't think there are any rules to knowing when to marry, If it is right it's right. I haven't ever felt that way about anybody yet so take that for what its worth. The only advice I got from my dad was "when you go to college and get serious about somebody, bring her home. I will cook a big dinner. if she gets up and does the dishes without being asked, She is a keeper".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
82 Posts
Everyone feels like that. It's called being in love. Run for your life while you can.

Seriously though, I'm a completely different person now to who I was at 23. But when I was 23 I thought I knew myself. I didn't.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
173 Posts
An easier question to answer is "when is it OK to start farting around a new girlfriend?" Once you get that one sorted out then, move on to bigger concerns like when to propose.

Always do a prenup too. Do it at the beginning when you are both on good terms and it protects both of you (who knows these days, she could be the one that becomes a multi-millionaire). If you never get divorced then, it's just a worthless piece of paper that ended up meaning nothing. You just don't want to figure out how to settle a divorce if you end up hating each others guts and if she won't agree to a prenup, that tells you something also.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
409 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
hahaha i actually fart on her daily. i will call her over all sweetly and then fart on her. or in bed i dutch oven her almost nightly.

maybe she is the one....
 

·
Slow Poke
Joined
·
5,584 Posts
Have you guys had any real fights? That will be the main Test right there. Not saying fighting is good or anything but it WILL happen. You can love a woman to death and everything be perfect until one big fight then neither of you will know how to act and shit can fall apart quick. As long as you guys know how to work through your problems and your both honest and loyal I think you'll be fine. Congrats man!!


Sent from my Motorcycle iPhone app
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
112 Posts
If your feeling strong about her then messing around and not popping the question is only going to make it more difficult to do so in the future. In my opinion you should start planning how to ask the question and what ring to buy. I have seen so many say the same thing and they ended up breaking up because he just wasn't sure yet. I think they are all just afraid of asking. Propose and see where it goes. Don't prolong the enviable. If it feels right do it. I got married when I was 20 and 11 years later we are still very happy! Of course we share a common interest, bikes. That is the success to any relationship. lol

Cheers :eek:ccasion1
 

·
BigCat for Prez!
Joined
·
7,229 Posts
I dated my wife for 6yrs before I proposed. Like B.G. said have u had a legitimate fight yet? I love my wife to death but at the same time I sometimes plot killing her and how ill get away with it. Its going to happen, but doesnt mean u love her any less, it just means ur not lying to urself about it.

Marriage isnt like in the movies, there is NO fairytale, u will want to kill each other at times, but thats what happens when ur around somebody 24/7. I have a good friend that him and his wife post all kinds of mushy shit on Facebook all the time, and my wife reads it and gets jealous, but in reality, the girl is controlling and hes pussy whipped to hell and back, but on FB its nothing but endless love.

U can propose, just have a yr long engagement just to do a double check on whether u wanna be with her for the rest of ur life or not

lastly, Ur not comfortable around someone till u can take a shit infront of them or while theyre shitting u start messing with her on the pot
 

·
The Pace
Joined
·
6,962 Posts
I have other friends that have been dating for 3-6 years and they aren't engaged. I don't think I could see myself waiting that long. But at the same time, I feel like a year isnt long enough.

When did you know your significant other was "the one?" Have you ever felt that way about somebody and then lost it? How long do you think you should be with somebody before you take the plunge? Anything to look out for?

Any advice is welcome, and thanks guys :eek:ccasion1
The ONE thing you have to do is STUDY HER MOTHER. That's what you're gonna marry. If her mother appears to NOT have any sexual desire toward your future father-in-law, then THAT WILL BE YOUR FATE, ALSO!

Second thing. Once married, stayed married, no matter what. Separation ok, or if she divorces you, that's alright, too. 'For better or for worse.' Very rough if you marry a woman that simply is not your sexual match. Next problem is marrying a woman with a head full of odd philosophies, but if you understand what's she thinking, this is less a problem.

The final thing. If you're a leader, she must follow your leadership once the dust clears. Any other way, and the family will go backwards in all ways.

I would NEVER get married again if given a choice. But, well, most of us really have to learn the fookin hard way! My problem was that the wife so enchanted me, like I was under a spell, or whatever, and really couldn't think things through to figure her out. Bottom line is that she used this like we would use any form of power! I was so fookin stupid!!

So, how long would I wait before proposing? Until I grew up. In my case, guess that would be like when I'm 55 years old, or so. I'm serious. We males don't reach our mental power until old, and even then may not happen if we're sick from some aging process!
 

·
BigCat for Prez!
Joined
·
7,229 Posts
The ONE thing you have to do is STUDY HER MOTHER. That's what you're gonna marry. If her mother appears to NOT have any sexual desire toward your future father-in-law, then THAT WILL BE YOUR FATE, ALSO!

Second thing. Once married, stayed married, no matter what. Separation ok, or if she divorces you, that's alright, too. 'For better or for worse.' Very rough if you marry a woman that simply is not your sexual match. Next problem is marrying a woman with a head full of odd philosophies, but if you understand what's she thinking, this is less a problem.

The final thing. If you're a leader, she must follow your leadership once the dust clears. Any other way, and the family will go backwards in all ways.

I would NEVER get married again if given a choice. But, well, most of us really have to learn the fookin hard way!
This.

My wife still seems to be her parents daughter more than my wife, and it pisses me off to hell and back when she jumps for them everytime. I hate her family, I didnt find out how fucked up they really were till abt 3wks before marriage either. ud think after 6yrs they wouldve showed there real side a lil bit...

Actually come to think of it, most of our fights are about her family. As long as shes independent then it wont matter ur feelings toward her family so much, but if shes still up their ass then ur fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked bec if u dont like the family the "everything is gonna fall apart" It really wont if u dont let it, but I get that phrase alot when I talk abt her family sucking fat nuts
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
369 Posts
It all depends man .. How well you know her? how settled are you? How do you get along? .. cause honestly .. age is just a number.. ill give you 2 real examples .. one off my friend started dating this girl when he was 18.. little less then a year he proposed and got married .. He's 26 now and been married for 7 years .. and he loves it .. another one of my friend has been dating the same girl for about 9-10 years since high school.. and he still feels he's not ready.. lol .. idk what to say about that ..


I myself am in a committed relationship. It's been about year and half.. and i think i need maybe year more before i ask the question ..( only because i don't have a good job) so once i find the perfect job and i think 2013 October (my bday) i will ask the question lol..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,714 Posts
wait a year. remember to use your head and not just your heart. love aint enough. no, you're both not special. it takes work to make things last.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
174 Posts
Everyone feels like that. It's called being in love. Run for your life while you can.

Seriously though, I'm a completely different person now to who I was at 23. But when I was 23 I thought I knew myself. I didn't.
lol at this one (although I somewhat agree).

Sparing you the gory details about guys getting screwed in divorce cases, I'd just say wait a few years at least until you are totally sure.
 
1 - 20 of 46 Posts
Top