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One Star Hangover (*) No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still rather parched. You have the ability and desire to consume five sodas, and strangely, still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**) No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a grapefruit. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the four egg omelet and fruity pancakes from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***) Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in bed watching Seinfeld reruns. You've had four cups of coffee, a gallon of water, three Gatoraides and a diet Coke... yet you haven't pissed once.

Four Star Hangover (****) Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already ripped you a new asshole you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover, (*****) You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the person who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get out the remnants of the shiz fairy. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the slightest idea who the hell the girl was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be a cruel joke designed to splash the toilet water all over your butt. Death sounds pretty good right about now....
 

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I just had people looking at me funny cause I was laughing so hard.. Good one.
 

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haha too accurate. good thing i've gone above 3 stars only a handful of times. i'm typically 1 sometimes 2.
 

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I just had people looking at me funny cause I was laughing so hard.. Good one.
best thing about the morning after a night of hard drinking, everything is hilarious.
 

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The bathroom floor, out front on the porch, the kitchen floor, seem to be the most comfortable spots around the whole house on some late nights/ early mornings.
 

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oh i know the bathroom floor all too well. it's also really comfortable to hang my head inside the toilet.
 

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:crackup:
haha seriously, have you ever actually fell asleep while laying your head on the seat after puking uncontrollably?
 

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I hate to admitted but that happen to me one time, I had a drink they call a DWI so you figuere it out.
ahhaha the drink is called DWI?
 

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Yeah its pretty much every kind of liquor poured into a tall glass. I was already drunk so my beer muscles were huge so I drank more than half the cup thinking I could handle it. It was a disaster after that.
 

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haha seriously, have you ever actually fell asleep while laying your head on the seat after puking uncontrollably?
nope but I have woken up in the bathroom before. I think that I was only there for like 10 min though. And I did pass out in the driveway once after I got driven home. And I mean on the driveway . That was a really long time ago. I have calmed down alot now.
 

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haha, I passed out a year ago about a 1/4 mile down a dirt road with my shirt off (i believe i puked in it and put it by my bike on the ground, all my friends were wondering where the hell is Ryan since my 6 was still there. they called my phone as i was stumbling back, they were all laughing their asses off, haha good time.
 

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I remember in Charlotte, NC on a night out with the boys we were walking through the city to another bar and there was this 270lb fat guy laying passed out under a bench in the middle of winter (was like 30 degrees and somebody took off his pants and stole his shoes hahaha, I bet he was 5*'s the next morning for SURE! Unless he was dead, I couldnt really tell.
 

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I used to party a lot so I've passed out in quite a few odd places; middle of the street twice, hood of someones car, tailgate of a pickup, on a trail in the middle of the woods, against a tree while kneeling down puking. Those were all times where the 4 and 5 star hangover came into effect, think I may have reached a level 6 once or twice too!
 
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