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You Know You're A Ghetto Christian If...

1) You lie on an application to get a job and then get up
and testify that "God made a way out of no way!"

2) You get mad at a visitor and call them out for sitting in
YOUR seat.

3) You tell the preacher to baptize you from the neck down
because you just got your hair did!

4) You take 2 hours to get ready for church, get there late,
and leave early!!

5) You open your Bible and you cough from the dust that
flies out.

6) Your wedding song is 'Secret Lovers'.

7) You do not lift your hand during worship because your
acrylic nail is broken.

8) The only time you like to sing in the choir is when they
let you sing "your" song.

9) You do not tithe because you say, "the preacher might be
crooked and stealing the Lord's money, so I don't want to give it to him."

10) After you've done wrong and someone has rebuked you, you
don't repent but you say, "Well the Lord knows my heart".

11) If you have ever said, "Show me in the Bible where it
says, thou shall not smoke".

12) Your favorite part of the service is the benediction.

13) You buy "hot" merchandise and testify the Lord blessed
me with a TV, jewelry, clothes, etc

14) You overheard someone say, "We got fed today at service"
and you asked if they served chicken.

15) You just got finished smoking on the outside of the
church and then try to lead a song, get choked up, holding your throat and
say to the congregation, "The devil don't want me to sing this song."
 
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