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Say man, What's goin' down in New York City on Saturday night? Just ask a few of the fast burners at "Pulsations Nightclub" and they'll tell ya about a cool-cat who goes by the name of "Dancin' Rick." This dude, I'm told...is as about as slick as a bag-full of greased eels. Eeeewwww...watch 'em..here he go!
Somewhere in Brooklyn, around 82nd & Ft. Hamilton, there's a nightclub called: "Pulsations," and many ballers try to seal the deal with some fancy footwork, but none a those cats can hold a candle to Dancin' Rick! As the smoke machine poured fog over the dance floor, strobe lights pulsed like UFOs in the night as the entire crowd parted and made a clear path all the way to the dance floor, the back doors burst open and everyone stands star-struck as they stare at the grooviest image they ever saw. The silhouette of Dancin' Rick standing in the door way, in a cloud of haze and amber lights. You can hear a pin drop at this point...that is until "Monte The Delicious DJ" puts the needle on the record. When the disco music jams loud, Rick makes his way down the isle. You can hear bystanders saying: "hey ...where's he goin', man?" Then someone else will answer: "to the dancefloor...where else"? As Rick usually strides a straycat-strut ever-so-slowly....and believe me, the crowd checks his shit out. His hair blows back, while his bellbottoms sway from side to side, he's got a bulge in his pants that would make Gene Simmons cry. The ladies fan themselves in excitement, not one finger is untouched with a gold ring, and his skin-tight silk shirt is unbuttoned half-way down, while his chest-hair is all bumpin'-out for the ladies to see. Somone hands him a cigarette, and he takes a puff and blows it into a girl's mouth, while someone else hands him a Gin on-the-rocks, he takes a sip and spits it on the crowd, while holding a lighter up to his mouth. The crowd roars in excitement!!
During his first set, he does a couple of typical mechanical-man moves, complimented with a split on the dancefloor. Monte The Delicious DJ plays Dancin' Rick's favorite song: "You Should be Dancin'" by the Bee Gees. This is the one that knocks everybody off their feet! As Dancin' Rick spins around the floor..he rips his shirt off, and throws it to the crowd. The ladies are crying for mercy...as they rip their tops off, too. The music gets louder, the lights flash faster, the crowd screams louder, Dancin' Rick goes faster and faster, the heat rises, Monte The Delicious DJ white-knuckles the volume and fader control on the mixer....keeping a sharp eye on the distortion L.E.Ds, Rick goes even faster, The smoke gets thicker, The mirrored-ball flys off the ceiling. Just then, Rick pulls a special cord on his belt, and his pants explode right-off his body...Now only wearing a pair of black platform shoes..The women are so wound-up they're merley pointing and choking, with huge smiles on their faces. All the dudes just stand there in pure disbelievement!
This same routine happens every Saturday night at Pulsations. Oh yea, there are some other dance ballers in there, but they just don't light-it-up like Dancin' Rick does!
He's an icon, he wear strong cologne that the ladies love: "Jovan Musk." He got toe-jam football, monkey-finger, he got to be good-lookin' cause he's so hard to see....Come together...right now..over me!
At the end of the night, Rick flys out the back stage door, jumps into his '58 Chevy and rolls out thru the night. When he got home that night, he found a douche bottle on his door mat, and there was a note attached, and it read: "Nice dancin', Rick! But wait 'till next week when I show the world I'm better than you!" signed, yours truely..."Electric Larry."
Stay-tuned for another exciting edtion of "Dancin' Rick."
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