Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor.
Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suction-cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!"
Bruce came running in.
"Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor," she said.
"S'truth," Bruce said, and tried to pull her up.
"You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get Cobber (his mate) to help."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up.
"No way, we can't do it," Cobber said, "so let's try Plan B."
"Plan B," exclaimed Bruce, "what's that?"
"I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.
"Spot on," Bruce said, "while you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her nipples.
"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"No," Bruce replied, "but I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are less expensive"