who doesn't like Chuck Norris??
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
3. When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
4. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
5. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
6. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
7. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
8. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
9. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
10. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
12. Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
13. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
14. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
15. Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
16. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
17. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
18. Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
19. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
20. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
21. Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
22. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
23. Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
24. Chuck Norris can speak braille.
25. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
26. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
27. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
28. Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
29. Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
30. Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
31. Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience
32. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain
33. Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins
34. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone
35. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
36. Chuck Norris can drown a fish
37. Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano
38. When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
39. Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul
40. Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet