UPS Humor--PRETTY GOOD!! - Kawasaki ZX-10R.net
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post #1 of 17 Old 06-05-2011, 08:02 PM Thread Starter
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UPS Humor--PRETTY GOOD!!

Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high
school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly
routinely..


After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,'
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.


The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.


Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.


Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots
(marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by
maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an
accident.



P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground..
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right..
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief
search.
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.

.
.
Take a risk, and you may lose. Never risk, and you will always lose.


........
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post #2 of 17 Old 06-05-2011, 08:15 PM
can we ride yet!?!?!?
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShervinRRR View Post
Now you can put your head in your ass again!!!...
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post #3 of 17 Old 06-05-2011, 08:28 PM
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Lol, that's a good one!! One of my co-workers is an aircraft mechanic he'll love this one!!

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post #4 of 17 Old 06-05-2011, 08:52 PM
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hahaha love it!
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post #5 of 17 Old 06-05-2011, 09:56 PM
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LOL, little old but always good for a laugh.
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post #6 of 17 Old 06-05-2011, 10:34 PM
All show and all go 10r
 
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That's awesome

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post #7 of 17 Old 06-05-2011, 10:43 PM
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Likes this
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post #8 of 17 Old 06-07-2011, 01:17 PM
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thats funny sh!t...

"There is always time to think about what you want to do,
Until it comes time to start doing what you were meant to do."

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.~unknown~

"The true test of a mans character is how he treats someone, from whom he has nothing to gain"

"It's the things that people don't know about themselves on the inside, that make them afraid"
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post #9 of 17 Old 06-07-2011, 01:23 PM
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dam that was good



'11 Black zx-10r | Tech-spec Tank pad | Akraprovic w/ link | Power Commander V | Auto tune | HID | 1/5 Insert | Driven Smog Plates | DMP integrated tail light | Vortex rear sets w/ new pressure switch | Puig dark smoke windscreen | BMC Air Filter | Cox Radiator Guard |

To Do List:
ECU reflash
Steering Damper revalved
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post #10 of 17 Old 06-07-2011, 02:28 PM
welds like he has palsy
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by green10 View Post
speakers on a zx10 is like shitting in your bathwater!!!
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