Two Sex Jokes
A girl goes into a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take the red one."
The man replies: "You can't, that's a fire extinguisher."
A girl walks into the local dry cleaners.
She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.
"Come again?" says the half deaf worker.
"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."
"You can't trust anyone, not even your own asshole; sometimes you think you're gonna fart and you sh*t."