The Queen was visiting one of London's top hospitals and specified that she wanted to see absolutely everything. During her tour of the floors, she passed a room where a male patient was wanking.
"Oh my" said the Queen,
"that's disgraceful. What is the meaning of this?"
The Doctor leading the tour explained, "I'm sorry your Majesty, but this man has a very serious medical condition and is only following doctor's orders. His body produces too much semen and his testicles keep over-filling. Until we find what's causing the problem, he's been instructed to do that at least five times a day or there's a danger his testcles will explode, killing him instantly."
"Oh I am sorry", said the Queen. On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow-job.
"Oh my," said the Queen, "What happening there?" The Doctor replied, "Same problem, but he's with BUPA".