Things a woman must never say to a man
Ladies here are some things a man never wants to hear from you:
-"I've lost the remote control." This will end up in a frantic search and lots of tears and panic from a man. His normally calm behavior will change instantly into a raving lunatic.
-"I forgot to buy your beer". If your man has organized his whole weekend around the all-important god of sports on TV, this will be seen as a deliberate act of stupidity.
-"I forgot to pay the cable". If you say this in combination with the above, you better start packing your bags.
-"The satellite dish has fallen off the roof and I can't put it back because I've just done my nails". This will be seen as a lousy excuse.You'll have to come up with something better. He will be on that ladder in a flash though.
-"Sorry there is absolutely no food in the house and all the take-aways are closed, due to stocktaking." This is a bad one, and you will see him going to the neighbors to dine over there. Food is extremely important to all men.
-"Can I use your credit card, because I've maxed out mine". You'll need to time this one very carefully. And even then will he almost risk his life to hold on to his card.
-"I think we better start packing, because I forgot to pay the mortgage/rent for 15 years". A man likes to have a roof over his head, mainly because of the TV, which, of course is connected to the electricity. And an outdoor-lifestyle doesn't go well with electricity; when it rains it is likely you'll blow up the whole forest.
-"I have no idea where your socks are". They don't want to hear this,After 20 years of putting socks in exactly the same drawer, they still manage to forget. Just buy yellow stick-on notes and let them "guide " him towards the sock drawer.