And then the fight started...... - Kawasaki ZX-10R.net
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post #1 of 12 Old 01-15-2009, 06:15 AM Thread Starter
 
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And then the fight started......

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place expensive....
So, I took her to a gas station.....

And then the fight started....



****

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....



********

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'

And she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too'

And then the fight started.....



****

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage .

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the

radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and

whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out

fishing in that?'

And that's how the fight started ...



****

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,

and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a

nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking

right after we split up those many & years ago, and I hear she hasn't been

sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that

long?'

And then the fight started.....



****

I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of

his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem

funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,

'I AM NOT HAPPY! !!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started.....



****

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And then the fight started.....



****

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,

'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'

And then the fight started....
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post #2 of 12 Old 01-15-2009, 06:23 AM
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BURNOUT.....
Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.
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post #3 of 12 Old 01-15-2009, 06:27 AM
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post #4 of 12 Old 01-15-2009, 01:05 PM
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Garage
lolololol

good one Mike!
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post #5 of 12 Old 01-15-2009, 01:12 PM
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You don't know what you can do until you know what you can't do...
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post #6 of 12 Old 01-15-2009, 01:17 PM
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too funny man
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post #7 of 12 Old 01-15-2009, 01:28 PM
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i love the boat one ,hahahhaha good stuff!!!

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post #8 of 12 Old 01-15-2009, 01:51 PM
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They are all good but the dwarf one made me actually laugh out loud.

Sarah Palin and friends can call it a snow machine all they want but Yamaha, Polaris and Bombardier plus the related magazines all seem to call them Snowmobiles.

Snow machines create snow on ski slopes. Just sayin'
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post #9 of 12 Old 01-15-2009, 03:04 PM
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Good post. Rep sent
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post #10 of 12 Old 01-16-2009, 01:41 AM
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2006 ZX-10R Black "Snake Eyes"
starrotors.com 6000k h.i.d. kit, T-rex frame sliders, Nissin Calipers, Galfer HH pads, Galfer SS brake lines, Puig DB windscreen, Micron exhaust, Powerbronze carbon fiber, Driven grips, Pazzo levers, and Gilles rearsets.


Note: Pray for peace, train for war. There can be no freedom without sacrifice.

"remember pain is temporary but quitting last forever. Feed the warrior"
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