Stupid jokes.......... - Kawasaki ZX-10R.net
 
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post #1 of 10 Old 07-23-2007, 11:17 PM Thread Starter
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Stupid jokes..........

A Doe walks out of the woods. Her hair is all messed up, he eyes are glazed, she's short of breath. She says, "thats the last time I'll do that for two Bucks again!"





So a jumper cable walks into a bar, the bartender says "i'll serve you... just don't start anything"





Two antennas got married, the wedding was crap but the reception was excellent




Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. Bar tender says, "Hey, you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?" Pirate says, "Arrrg, it's driving me nuts."

"Never trade the thrill of living, for the security of existence"
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post #2 of 10 Old 07-23-2007, 11:52 PM
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Sad thing is- That's funny

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post #3 of 10 Old 07-23-2007, 11:56 PM Thread Starter
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two snowmen are standing in a front yard. one snowman says to the other "dude, is it just me or does it smell like carrots out here?"



two goldfish are in a tank, one says to the other "you man the guns, i'll drive!"



Two muffins are in an oven, one looks over at the other and says "It's mighty hot in here"
The other muffin turns to him and says "Holy ****, a talking muffin"

"Never trade the thrill of living, for the security of existence"
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post #4 of 10 Old 07-24-2007, 12:00 AM
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good stuff

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." - Edmond Burke (1729-1797)
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post #5 of 10 Old 07-24-2007, 12:38 AM
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I think you're the father of one of my kids

I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS.........



A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at
him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he
knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think
you're the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only
time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the
stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with
all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet
celery???" She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math
teacher."

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post #6 of 10 Old 07-24-2007, 07:45 PM Thread Starter
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Did you here about Mickey Mouse and Minny Mouse getting a divorce? The judge says,"I understand you want a divorce because you think your wife's crazy?" Mickey replies,"I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was f'ing Goofy!"



Why did the bicycle fall over?

It was two tired





A man walked into a pharmacy and up to the young lady pharmacist.

"Do you sell Viagra?", he enquires.

"Yes, we do." replies the pharmacist.

"Does it really work?", asks the man.

"Yes.", she answered.

"And can I get it over the counter?" he continues.

"Probably, if you took two of them!" replied the pharmacist.

"Never trade the thrill of living, for the security of existence"
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post #7 of 10 Old 07-24-2007, 07:46 PM Thread Starter
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What do you call onions and beans? Tear gas.




Why did the turtle cross the street? To get to the Shell station.




A sandwich and a banana walk into a bar. They go up to the bartender and say, "Bartender, get us each a beer!" The bartender turns to them and says, "Sorry, but we don't serve food here."

"Never trade the thrill of living, for the security of existence"
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post #8 of 10 Old 08-01-2007, 02:55 AM
 
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what is the difrence between a pregnant woman and a light bulb????
.
.
.
A: you can unscrew a light bulb...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How many pycologist does it take to change a light bulb??
.
.
.
.
.
A: one, but only if the light bulb wants to!
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post #9 of 10 Old 08-03-2007, 07:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 9520G View Post
What do you call onions and beans? Tear gas."
Sounds like danger alright
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post #10 of 10 Old 08-06-2007, 08:36 PM
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www.alteredchrome.com

Its done!! Check it out!!

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