Some Clinton jokes
Q: What's the definition of an Arkansas Virgin?
A: A girl that can run faster than the Clinton.
Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes *he* did?
A: A dead girlfriend.
Q: Why is Bill Clinton diverting federal funds from improving schools to improving jails?
A: Because when his term is through, he won't be going to school.
Q: Dan Quayle, Ted Kennedy, and Bill Clinton were in a spelling bee. Who won?
A: Dan Quayle, because he was the only one who knew that "harass" was one word....
Q: If called to testify in a trial how long will it before Clinton commits perjury?
A: When he's sworn in.
Q: Why did Bill Clinton cross the road?
A: To meet the chick.
Q: What's yellow, hen-pecked and lays chicks?
A: Bill Clinton
Q: When did Clinton realize Paula Jones wasn't a Democrat?
A: When she didn't swallow everything he presented.
Q: What did Hillary tell Bill when the Paula Jones story broke?
A: "You putz I TOLD YOU to let Teddy Kennedy drive her home!
Q: What did Clinton say to Paula Jones when she broke her story?
A: "I said `Do my erection', -not- `ruin Al's election.' !!"
Q: What do Bill Clinton and Jim Bakker have in common?
A: Both of their mistresses made Playboy.
Q: How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House?
A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.
Q: What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic?
A: Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.
Q: What's the difference between Clinton and a whale?
A: Whales mate for life
Q: When will there be a woman in the White House?
A: Any time Hillary leaves town.
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a container of yogurt?
A: Yogurt has culture.
Q: Why is Chelsea growing up a confused child?
A: Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
Q: What does Clinton have in common with his Hollywood pals?
A: They all make a living by lying to people.
Q: Why wasn't there a White House Christmas pageant this year?
A: They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Q: What has Clinton done that no one has been able to do in the last 5 years?
A: Unite the Republican Party.
Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex?
A: When Hillary is out of town.
Q: What game did Bill Clinton want Paula Jones to play?
A: Swallow the leader
Q: How does Bill Clinton fire up super lawyer Bob Bennett?
A: He tells him to go out there and win one for the zipper.
Q: Why doesn't Hillary smile more often?
A: Bill isn't doing to her what he's doing to the country.
Q: How is Bill Clinton like an unemployed school teacher?
A: No class and no principals.
Q: Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East?
A: He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.
Q: What do Gennifer Flowers and George Bush have in common?
A: They were both upset when Bill finished first.
Q: Why is Bill Clinton the living proof of reincarnation?
A: Because no one could get this stupid in one lifetime.