A Self Examination for Men - Kawasaki ZX-10R.net
 
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post #1 of 10 Old 12-12-2008, 12:16 PM Thread Starter
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Lightbulb A Self Examination for Men

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay
-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog...'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeez, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.


3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on Bar-B-Que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or titties. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a fag.


4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates wherever he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not find this to be funny because you are afraid of hurting porple's feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being a Major fudge packer.

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post #2 of 10 Old 12-12-2008, 12:19 PM
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Haven't laughed that much in a while. Excellent!!

BURNOUT.....
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post #3 of 10 Old 12-12-2008, 01:10 PM
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Originally Posted by 40thStreetBlack View Post
6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes.
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post #4 of 10 Old 12-13-2008, 03:54 PM
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Looks like Im 100% safe!!

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post #5 of 10 Old 01-03-2009, 06:25 PM
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well im good
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post #6 of 10 Old 01-05-2009, 04:55 AM
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LMAO!!!
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post #7 of 10 Old 01-05-2009, 01:48 PM
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I'm good except the cat but her nickname is bitch not bun bun
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post #8 of 10 Old 01-05-2009, 01:53 PM
 
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Reminds me of Chuck Norris jokes
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post #9 of 10 Old 01-09-2009, 08:50 PM
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Lol!!!!

life begins @ 13000 RPMs!!!
2013 WHITE Knight!!!
08 black knight, you will be missed
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post #10 of 10 Old 04-11-2009, 03:34 AM
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lol well said

If practice makes perfect, but no one is perfect so why try?
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