Rectum Stretcher - Kawasaki ZX-10R.net
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post #1 of 12 Old 08-28-2010, 07:32 AM Thread Starter
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Rectum Stretcher

A young man had just graduated from medical school at the University of Florida and landed an internship in California. His parents gave him a new Porsche as a graduation gift.

Driving at a high rate of speed through Mississippi, he was stopped by a deputy.

Cop: What's your damn hurry, boy?

Man: Well, I just graduated from medical school and I'm on my way to California for my first job.

Cop: Ohhh, a "Doctor", huh? Why, ain't you special. Fancy car, fancy clothes and everything. What kinda doc are you, anyway?

Man: Well, actually, I specialize in rectum stretching.

Cop: Rectum stretching? What kinda shit is that?

Man: I can't explain why, but the latest thing in California is stretching out your rectum. I can stretch it up to six feet.

Cop: That's the damnest thing I've ever heard of. What the hell do you do with a six foot asshole?

Man: Well, I suppose you give him a badge, a sidearm and a radar gun and sit him on the side of the highway!

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post #2 of 12 Old 08-28-2010, 08:35 AM
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thats funny shit
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post #3 of 12 Old 08-28-2010, 09:45 AM
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BWAHAHAH, thats the joke Ive been waiting my whole life for. LOL
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post #4 of 12 Old 08-29-2010, 03:08 AM
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damn....hilarious

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post #5 of 12 Old 08-29-2010, 03:16 AM
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I didn't find this funny.
It's not polite picking on The Nazi Regime.
It's not their fault for being that way.

You need to stop this stereotyping.

09' Ice Blended Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino
10' Venti Mocha Latte spilled some of it, was too hot
11' Peppermint Mocha W/Extra Shot of Espresso
12' Eggnog Venti Latte
13' Bagel
14' Standard Drip (since a Venti latte went up 20 cents)


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post #6 of 12 Old 09-02-2010, 12:17 AM
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this isn't funny, true story
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post #7 of 12 Old 09-02-2010, 12:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Static IP View Post
I didn't find this funny.
...The Nazi Regime....

...Geez, Static.. You're like a broken record. Give it a rest already! We get the point! You don't like the police and you're Jewish.. Oi Vay!

Can't you just enjoy a joke?! So damn political...
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post #8 of 12 Old 09-03-2010, 12:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shojivic View Post
...Geez, Static.. You're like a broken record. Give it a rest already! We get the point! You don't like the police and you're Jewish.. Oi Vay!

Can't you just enjoy a joke?! So damn political...

Um.. Oh boy.


Let me clarify a few things. Just for the record.


1) I NEVER EVER in my life said I do not like the police. I have family and friends who LE and FBI and have respect for all LE.
When I use the term Nazi Regime it ONLY and I repeat ONLY refers to ROGUE le who abuse their power for their own gain or are on a power trip and lie, cheat, etc. Yes there are TONS of cases this year alone here in LA county where they have raped women, stolen drugs, beat the crap out of minorities or killed them and I can go on and on for days on this. At that point they are no longer part of the system or trying to serve and protect.


2) I am not Jewish. And in no way do I mean to disrespect those who are Jewis and if you are, I appologize. However, my use of The Nazi Regime has a completey different meaning and intentions.
I am a bit clueless how you would bring up Judaism?
In the Context I use Nazi Regime is WAY different than what you are thinking. I have a feeling you didn't study world history, since the nazi, well they um... here's a brief history. They DID NOT like anyone who was not of their OWN!
Yes it was mostly Jews, but it also included, handicapped, aged, sick, prisoners of war, forced laborers, camp inmates, critics, homosexuals, Slavs, Serbs, Germans, Czechs, Italians, Poles, French, Ukrainians, black, lame, retarded, political opponents, gypsies, anyone they thought were mentally inferior, Poles, Jehovah Witnesses and many others.. Basically everyone that was not of their own.

3) I am in no way into politics, so not political in any fashion.


4) Ummm. well if you read my entire post, I was trying to be funny. Somehow I recken it didn't' come out that way.


I hope this clears any confusion. If not, I will gladly explain it in more detail :)

09' Ice Blended Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino
10' Venti Mocha Latte spilled some of it, was too hot
11' Peppermint Mocha W/Extra Shot of Espresso
12' Eggnog Venti Latte
13' Bagel
14' Standard Drip (since a Venti latte went up 20 cents)



Last edited by Static IP; 09-03-2010 at 01:40 AM.
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post #9 of 12 Old 09-03-2010, 02:59 AM
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,, Thats Fucking hysterical.. Great Joke..
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post #10 of 12 Old 09-03-2010, 03:21 AM
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...Boy, your soul better belong to Jesus cuz your ass belongs to me...

BURNOUT.....
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