How do you describe a brunette whose phone rings on Saturday night?
What did the frustrated brunette say to her uninterested lover?
"What part of 'yes' don't you understand?"
Why did God give men penises?
So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
How is a woman like a laxative?
They both irritate the shit out of you.
What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.
What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down?
Why are hangovers better than women?
Hangovers will go away.
What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for?
Its Braille for "suck here".
Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull?
What's a wife?
An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.
Why do women have tits?
So men will talk to them.
Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Why did God make man first?
He didn't want a woman looking over his shoulder.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
What's the difference between your wife and your job?
After 5 years your job will still suck.