A bloke comes home from work early one day to find his teenage daughter laying naked on the couch using a vibrator.
"What in God's name are you doing? " he yells at her. To which she replies. " Well, father, you won't let me have a boyfriend, so this is my substitute!"
The next day, the daughter returns home early from college to find her father bent over the drinks cabinet, trousers and pants around his ankles, with the vibrator humming away up his arse.
She screams, "Father, what are you doing?'
Shocked by his daughter's screams, he says, Oh, I am having a drink with your new boyfriend!"