Muffins in the oven - Kawasaki
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post #1 of 60 Old 08-29-2012, 06:44 PM Thread Starter
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Muffins in the oven

Two muffins are in the oven, one says, wow its getting hot in here. The other sceams and says. ahhhhh a talking muffin.
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post #2 of 60 Old 08-29-2012, 07:02 PM
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While we're doing lame jokes...

So a grass hopper walks into a bar..the bartender yells "we have a drink named after you!"

The grass hopper says you have a drink called larry?!?

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post #3 of 60 Old 08-29-2012, 07:35 PM
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3 women are in line for death via firing squad. The brunette yells "tornado!" The squad runs away and she goes free. The redhead yells "Hurricane!" The squad runs away and she goes free. The blonde steps up for her turn and screams "Fire!"

Strictly for the GEN2's Sporting the undertail with pride!
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post #4 of 60 Old 08-29-2012, 09:41 PM
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Originally Posted by zdawg123 View Post
3 women are in line for death via firing squad. The brunette yells "tornado!" The squad runs away and she goes free. The redhead yells "Hurricane!" The squad runs away and she goes free. The blonde steps up for her turn and screams "Fire!"

Gotta love the blonde jokes.

Sent from my SGH-T989
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post #5 of 60 Old 08-30-2012, 09:39 AM
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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It's this really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it...

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PCIII, 2 Bros slip-on, Hellrazors servo elim, Kleen removal, - secondaries, Scotts dampener, and a K&N, -1 +2 520 conversion
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post #6 of 60 Old 09-20-2012, 08:20 PM Thread Starter
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A guy is out in a boat stranded in the middle of a lake, motor dont work and has no paddles. A while later his buddy shows up at the shore with a trashy lookin girl on each arm, the man in the boat says no you idiot I said two ore's.
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post #7 of 60 Old 09-20-2012, 09:53 PM
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Q: Why is Starbucks removing the trans-fat from their menu?
A: Because they want that Frappacino to pad your ass without clogging your arteries!

Q: Why is Starbucks promising their customers "Your drink should be perfect every time. If not, let us know and we'll make it right."?
A: To torture their employees

Q: How did Federal Authorities figure out that there is a complex underground drug smuggling tunnel near the US-Mexico border?
A: It had it's own Starbucks!

Q: What is the new Starbucks sponsored Paul McCartney song?
A: Latte it Be!

Q: Why can Starbucks get away with charging outrageous prices for coffee?
A: Because they have Italian titles for everything!

Originally Posted by Brian24 View Post

Gotta love the blonde jokes.

And for Brian:

A blonde is working at the local Starbucks. A lady walks in and orders an Iced Cappuccino.''Do you want it hot or cold?''


09' Ice Blended Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino
10' Venti Mocha Latte spilled some of it, was too hot
11' Peppermint Mocha W/Extra Shot of Espresso
12' Eggnog Venti Latte
13' Bagel
14' Standard Drip (since a Venti latte went up 20 cents)

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post #8 of 60 Old 09-21-2012, 09:47 PM
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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
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post #9 of 60 Old 10-02-2012, 03:21 PM
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A whole bunch of good ones!!

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post #10 of 60 Old 10-02-2012, 03:36 PM
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why did the walrus go to the bar?
he was looking for a tight seal

War is about killing people and breaking things. It ain't the olympics. Its not supposed to be fair. Tom Clancy

ialsodontknowwhynewpeoplecantseperatetheirthoghtss owecanreadthemitmakesitunweidlyandannoyingtryingto decipherwhattheyaretryingtosaysoiusuallyjustmoveon atleastyouusedpuncuationthoughsocongratsonthatbutm aybeinthefutureyoucanhelpusalloutbecauseyouoranyon eelsewillgetmorerepliesifyoudontwriteonebigrunonth atsimpossibletoread
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