Montana Cowboy - Kawasaki ZX-10R.net
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 7 Old 10-18-2007, 09:30 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 11,624
Posting Frequency
           
Montana Cowboy

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban Sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, Connects it to his AT&T RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA Page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation System to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the Cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.


Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing was required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.
gpz1100 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 7 Old 10-18-2007, 09:40 AM
Retired post whore
 
Alien10's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 8,463
Posting Frequency
Images: 10
           

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." - Edmond Burke (1729-1797)
Alien10 is offline  
post #3 of 7 Old 10-18-2007, 09:51 AM
Track Day Rider
 
Redneck Rocket's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Clymer, Pa
Posts: 204
Posting Frequency
   
Send a message via AIM to Redneck Rocket

I'd rather stand for something than to fall for nothing!
Redneck Rocket is offline  
post #4 of 7 Old 10-18-2007, 10:06 AM
GP Rider
 
russell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,730
Posting Frequency
     
haha awesome.

That is the Curse of Speed which has plagued me all my life. I am a slave to it. On my tombstone they will carve, "IT NEVER GOT FAST ENOUGH FOR ME."
-Hunter S. Thompson
russell is offline  
post #5 of 7 Old 10-18-2007, 10:09 AM
GP Star
 
maze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,261
Posting Frequency
Images: 4
    
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redneck Rocket View Post

The only thing nessecary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing

"sometimes in order to truly live life you must risk it."

You hit the lights, I hit the gas...


THERE ARE ONLY THREE SPEEDS, FAST, VERY FAST, AND OH SHIT!
maze is offline  
post #6 of 7 Old 10-18-2007, 12:12 PM
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 63
Posting Frequency
Images: 3
  
That was great!
Infiltrator is offline  
post #7 of 7 Old 10-18-2007, 12:32 PM
GP Star
 
Jonathan o's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: NC- Charlotte
Posts: 2,524
Posting Frequency
Images: 3
      

Life is too short injoy it!
Jonathan o is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Kawasaki ZX-10R.net forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in











Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Are you a real cowboy? wash23 Pictures and Videos 8 01-17-2007 05:21 PM
Owens is a Cowboy okie The Out House 33 03-21-2006 12:10 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome