Little Ralphy (Johnny's Cousin I Guess) - Kawasaki ZX-10R.net
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 7 Old 01-23-2009, 04:48 PM Thread Starter
GP Rider
 
Jugg_Head's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Halifax, Canada
Posts: 1,123
Posting Frequency
Images: 1
         
Little Ralphy (Johnny's Cousin I Guess)

LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH

A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
She calls on little Ralphy.

He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'

The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'

Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU.

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.

The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?'

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'

To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'


LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH (Part 2)

Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

'Why?' asks the father?

'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY.

'But that's right!' says his dad.

'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''

'What's the f...... difference?' asks the father.

'That's what I said!'

LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH

Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

RALPHY says 'Mas-tur-bate.'

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful.'

Little RALPHY says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.'


LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR

Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day.
All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet.
He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!'

The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation.
The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.'

Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if
you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!'


LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'

'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'

She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY.

'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f...... beautiful!''


LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER

Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'

Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'

The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
Little RALPHY answered, 'No, he minded his own f....... business.
Jugg_Head is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 7 Old 01-23-2009, 05:22 PM
WSB Rider
 
green_zx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: IN
Posts: 858
Posting Frequency
  
Send a message via AIM to green_zx
Good stuff.
green_zx is offline  
post #3 of 7 Old 01-23-2009, 05:50 PM
GP Star
 
rkwaki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Nashville
Posts: 3,318
Posting Frequency
      
Beautiful, just fn beautiful
rkwaki is offline  
post #4 of 7 Old 01-24-2009, 10:27 AM
GP Rider
 
superman10r's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: sc
Posts: 1,775
Posting Frequency
Images: 5
       

2006 ZX-10R Black "Snake Eyes"
starrotors.com 6000k h.i.d. kit, T-rex frame sliders, Nissin Calipers, Galfer HH pads, Galfer SS brake lines, Puig DB windscreen, Micron exhaust, Powerbronze carbon fiber, Driven grips, Pazzo levers, and Gilles rearsets.


Note: Pray for peace, train for war. There can be no freedom without sacrifice.

"remember pain is temporary but quitting last forever. Feed the warrior"
superman10r is offline  
post #5 of 7 Old 01-24-2009, 11:18 AM
I really need to get out of the house
 
luckz88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Fairfax, Va
Posts: 11,157
Posting Frequency
Images: 10
           
Send a message via AIM to luckz88 Send a message via Yahoo to luckz88
those are just f'in good

NESBA #88

Madness Racing wishes he could handle the power of a GSXR

All my homies left this site
luckz88 is offline  
post #6 of 7 Old 01-26-2009, 12:22 PM
Postwhore with an 04
 
bcm0018's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: West Chester, PA
Posts: 4,387
Posting Frequency
           
funny $hit
bcm0018 is offline  
post #7 of 7 Old 01-27-2009, 04:56 AM
Chairman of the Board
 
or10r's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 15,992
Posting Frequency
Images: 17
           
Garage
Good ones for sure.

or10r is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Kawasaki ZX-10R.net forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in











Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Johnny's at it again... 40thStreetBlack The Funny Pages 7 11-05-2008 11:34 AM
TRACK DAY BITCHES!!!! guess where come on guess!!!! 10 speed Track 82 05-24-2007 10:31 PM
Guess Where I Am Going zx10x2 The Out House 12 05-01-2007 08:37 AM
Guess What I Got! BigDally Pictures and Videos 31 10-15-2006 12:23 AM
Cousin went down Dawson-ZX The Out House 13 09-19-2006 07:58 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome