A Little Life Lesson.......& Funny!! - Kawasaki ZX-10R.net
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post #1 of 7 Old 05-30-2011, 01:37 PM Thread Starter
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A Little Life Lesson.......& Funny!!

> Dont know who wrote this but he has a way with words that makes one
visualize being right there beside him. Good read
> Life as a child growing up in Oklahoma....
> Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound
bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land
sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you
know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before
it goes down?
> Tough sumbich.
> That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan
that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused
in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all
over the place
> One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large
rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and
see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went
off in my head.
> I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it
would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it,
to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, Ether really doesn't "sound"
> So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex
(black powder for muzzle loader rifles).
> At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up
the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit
around the (Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1
lb. pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a
firecracker you know?
> You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the
other can.
> Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're
> I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew
the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the
arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see
my dad getting out of the truck... OH SHOOT! He just got home from work.
So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to
the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in
his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow
pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the
main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh shoot.
> When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know
if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex
jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a
millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I
will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above
the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground
layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.
> The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING
> There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the
pasture. Notice I said "was". That sumbich got up and ran off.
> So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes
with my thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the
carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO
> His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway.
All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a
slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a
Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders
are drooped down and are now touching the tires.
> I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know
- I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my
own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really
matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt
a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out,
woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the
idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad
screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.
> One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump
again, Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never
did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.
> Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some
sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating,
or both.
> I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery.
It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in
> Author Unknown

Take a risk, and you may lose. Never risk, and you will always lose.

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post #2 of 7 Old 06-03-2011, 07:41 AM
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LOL thats a great fuggin story! I love these stories!

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08 black knight, you will be missed
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post #3 of 7 Old 06-03-2011, 07:52 AM
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Thats good shit!!

Faster than a drunk snail on valium!

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New bike...07 GSXR1000..BMC filter, LOR slip on, 520 conversion with -1, speedohealer, pc3 custom map with xtre settings, Galfer superbike lines front, galfer sportbike line rear, shorty levers, Yami R1 throttle tube for 1/5 throttle, PAIR mod, exhaust valve gone, ecu flashed.
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post #4 of 7 Old 06-04-2011, 02:51 PM Thread Starter
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I actually had a similar situation when i was younger and getting ready to burn a brush fire after i had helped my uncles chop wood for my grandparents.....let's just say that a bit of black powder,gas,and diesel fuel will make one hell of a "boom"!!!! it was like standing 25 feet away from a baby nuke going off!!!!

Take a risk, and you may lose. Never risk, and you will always lose.

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post #5 of 7 Old 11-20-2011, 06:59 AM
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Tonk.. that was funny as hell

2009 zx10r black
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post #6 of 7 Old 11-20-2011, 09:22 AM
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That's a good one bro. Reminds me of my childhood

There are three rules I live my life by:
1. No matter where you are or what you are doing always look cool.
2. Don't be a pussy
3. When in doubt refer to rule number 1
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post #7 of 7 Old 11-28-2011, 11:32 PM
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OMG! That was friggin hilarious… I think I used to be married to that guy… LMAO

Last edited by zivadavid; 11-28-2011 at 11:35 PM.
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