Laws Of Life - Kawasaki ZX-10R.net
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post #1 of 11 Old 09-27-2011, 05:39 PM Thread Starter
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Laws Of Life

This one has been around before but for those of you who hadn't seen it OR would just like to see it again, here ya go...................
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Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

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Take a risk, and you may lose. Never risk, and you will always lose.


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post #2 of 11 Old 09-27-2011, 05:46 PM
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Thats so true!!!
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post #3 of 11 Old 09-29-2011, 07:31 AM
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preach on brother, preach on!!!

life begins @ 13000 RPMs!!!
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post #4 of 11 Old 09-29-2011, 02:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TMY10ER View Post
The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Well... There are certainly ways to break this law.

First (this might not come as a shock to anyone) but you start off with a Venti Latte (venti being bigger 20 oz, thus holding more liquid resulting in more heat being insulated). Their standard temp is 160 F, so you ask them to make it hotter, usually they'll bump it up to 170, but request 180, they'll be a bit hesitant, since this is pretty hot. So by the time your done with your task it'll be just right.



This public service announcement has been brought to you by Starbucks. Have a drink today.

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10' Venti Mocha Latte spilled some of it, was too hot
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14' Standard Drip (since a Venti latte went up 20 cents)


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post #5 of 11 Old 09-29-2011, 03:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TMY10ER View Post
Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
I hate this fucking law!!! and its definitely a law!!! pisses me off when i switch lanes and the new lane suddenly stops!


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in reference to the man card issue, let me clarify it for everyone, " If a man builds a 1000 bridges and sucks one cock, that doesnt make him a bridge builder, it makes him a cock sucker..."
My bike is the fattest and slowest of all the G2s
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post #6 of 11 Old 10-02-2011, 08:56 AM
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That's too funny.. And all so true.. Great Stuff it made my morning..


..<Panda>..
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post #7 of 11 Old 10-02-2011, 09:04 AM
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awesome!!!

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post #8 of 11 Old 10-04-2011, 11:29 PM
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•• Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Oh i hate this one,

How about this law,

** When holding a bunch of coins, the bigger value coins always fallout.

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post #9 of 11 Old 10-05-2011, 10:09 AM
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Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.


So TRUE!!!
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post #10 of 11 Old 01-04-2012, 10:41 AM
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Nice.
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