Issues with Operating System - Kawasaki ZX-10R.net
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post #1 of 11 Old 11-21-2007, 10:13 AM Thread Starter
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Issues with Operating System

I was having problems with my OS so I sent this to Tech Support. Some of you fellas may have come across the same problem.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity; applications such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5. I am having trouble loading Track Day 1.0 and Racing 3.6 won't even initiate!

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User


This was Tech Support's reply:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

They have found that the Trojan utility program that can be used in cases to block viruses, and in some cases, used solely to stop child processing is not 100% effective causing an immediate upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. But, many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend and 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear"
to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5! and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

Since you are having problems with your Track Day 1.0 and Racing 3.6, you obviously didn't install Bike 3.0 before upgrading to Wife 1.0. The only way to recover from this problem is to install the Toy Suite immediately after your next Diamond upgrade.

There is another issue that has been found when upgrading from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0:
With Girlfriend 7.0, your joystick was interchangeable between the many available ports. Over time, once upgraded to Wife 1.0, your joystick no longer has access to any ports without additional hardware such as Diamonds 5.0 or software like Anniversary 10.0.


WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!
Also, should you contemplate installing the beta release of Mistress, please see the Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support.

Best of luck,

Tech Support

Bikes: '88 EX250 (sold), '86 Nighthawk S (sold), '03 ZX7R (R.I.P.s), '07 ZX10R (sold)

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Last edited by Grease; 11-21-2007 at 02:11 PM.
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post #2 of 11 Old 11-21-2007, 10:14 AM
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Oldie but a goody...
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post #3 of 11 Old 11-21-2007, 10:40 AM
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Great read. Thats some funny sh!t.

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post #4 of 11 Old 11-21-2007, 01:31 PM
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post #5 of 11 Old 11-21-2007, 01:35 PM
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Thanks, for the future warning. I think I might just have to stick with Girlfriend 7.0

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We have room for but one flag, the AMERICAN FLAG .... We have room for but one language here, and that is the ENGLISH LANGUAGE...
And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the AMERICAN PEOPLE" TR
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post #6 of 11 Old 11-21-2007, 02:03 PM
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Good1.

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post #7 of 11 Old 11-21-2007, 02:04 PM Thread Starter
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Highlighted some added edits!

Bikes: '88 EX250 (sold), '86 Nighthawk S (sold), '03 ZX7R (R.I.P.s), '07 ZX10R (sold)

I don't like repeat offenders; I like dead offenders.
My idea of 'gun control' is putting as many bullets as I can into the same hole.

- Ted Nugent
Iím all for gun control, I just define it a little differently. If you can put 2 rounds into the same hole from 25 meters, thatís gun control!
- Jesse Ventura
God gave man a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time. - Stephen E. Ambrose
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post #8 of 11 Old 11-21-2007, 02:06 PM
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Great stuff. Unfortunatley for me I'll be upgrading (downgrading?) from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 in next year.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." - Edmond Burke (1729-1797)
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post #9 of 11 Old 11-21-2007, 08:52 PM
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For some reason girlfriend 7.0 always seems to crash before I get to upgrade to wife 1.0, must be user error
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post #10 of 11 Old 11-22-2007, 03:55 AM
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Hilarious,

Thx for the great laugh dude.

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