A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth.
A cop on the beat sees him and approaches 'Can I help you sir?'
'Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr' the man replies.
The cop asks 'Where was your car the last time you saw it?'
'It wasss on the end of thisshh key' the man replies. About that
time the cop looks down and sees the man's wanker hanging out
of his fly for all the world to see...
He asks the man 'Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without
missing a beat, blurts out...
'Holy shit - My girlfriend's gone, too'
"Be kind and courteous to everyone you come in contact with but have a plan to kill everyone you meet."