Even pumpkins aren't safe
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white
male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.
On Monday, at the Gwinnett County courthouse, Lawrence was charged with
lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way
home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a
pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for
miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a
hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was
really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an
approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until officer
Brenda Taylor approached him.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.
"I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
"I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex
with a pumpkin?"
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he
looked me straight in the face and said...
"A pumpkin? Shit...is it midnight already?"
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." - Edmond Burke (1729-1797)