Don't retire to Alaska
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally, sick of the
stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from
humanity as possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month.
Otherwise, it's total peace and quiet.
After 6 months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his
door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.
"Name's Cliff, your neighbor from 40 miles up the road. Having a
Christmas party Friday night.
Thought you might like to come. About 5:00."
"Great," says Tom. "After 6 months out here I'm ready to meet some local
As Cliff is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you. Be some drinking."
"No problem," says Tom. "After 25 years in the business I can drink with
the best of em' ".
Again the big man starts to leave and stops. "More n' likely gonna be
some fightin', too."
"Well, I get along with most people. I'll be alright. I'll be there.
"More'n likely to be some wild sex, too."
"That's no problem", says Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone
for 6 months!! I'll definitely be there! By the way, what should I
"Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us."