Banned from Wal*Mart - Kawasaki ZX-10R.net
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post #1 of 21 Old 12-09-2008, 05:51 PM Thread Starter
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Banned from Wal*Mart

BANNED FROM WAL-MART...

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equal ly unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.


4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares.
Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.


6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.


8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.


10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.


12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'


14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but not least .

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

This is too funny NOT to share.

NESBA #456 Intermediate
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post #2 of 21 Old 12-09-2008, 05:57 PM
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That Tomato juice leading to the Lady's bathroom is great.

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post #3 of 21 Old 12-09-2008, 06:07 PM
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funny as hell

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Originally Posted by STEALTH-FIGHTER View Post
But show me someone on a sport bike that "never speeds" and I'll show you a liar.
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post #4 of 21 Old 12-09-2008, 06:10 PM
I really need to get out of the house
 
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Oh man that was too funny....the scary thing is I can see you guys when you get older doing these things



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post #5 of 21 Old 12-09-2008, 06:10 PM
 
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...please tell me this is real
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post #6 of 21 Old 12-09-2008, 06:11 PM
I really need to get out of the house
 
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Loved the fitting room !!!



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post #7 of 21 Old 12-09-2008, 06:16 PM
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i like the ALARM clock one good idea ha ha

ZX10R now i know why its called MONSTER
Go Ninja Go Ninja Go!

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post #8 of 21 Old 12-09-2008, 06:41 PM
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This is a great time of year to go to Wal*Mart!
I like to hit all the buttons on those Holiday plush toys that sing and dance.
It's like a white trash symphony!

Oh, and I never go w/o a Bingo card!


Last edited by DogoZX; 12-09-2008 at 06:49 PM.
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post #9 of 21 Old 12-09-2008, 06:42 PM
I really need to get out of the house
 
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This is a great time of year to go to Wal*Mart!
I like to hit all the buttons on those Holiday plush toys that sing and dance.
It's like a white trash symphony!

oh no you not one of those guys!!!!



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post #10 of 21 Old 12-09-2008, 06:51 PM
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Quote:
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oh no you not one of those guys!!!!
Sometimes my GF helps!
With two sets of hands you can really get things rockin'!
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