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post #1 of 24 Old 01-24-2007, 04:26 PM Thread Starter
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You are kidding me !!

The Self-Locking F-22



Last week, Lockheed Martin announced that its profits were up a hefty 60 percent in the first quarter. The company earned $591 million in profit on revenues of $9.2 billion. Now, if the company could just figure out how to put a door handle on its new $361 million F-22 fighter, its prospects would really soar.

On April 10, at Langley Air Force Base, an F-22 pilot, Capt. Brad Spears, was locked inside the cockpit of his aircraft for five hours. No one in the U.S. Air Force or from Lockheed Martin could figure out how to open the aircraft's canopy. At about 1:15 pm, chainsaw-wielding firefighters from the 1st Fighter Wing finally extracted Spears after they cut through the F-22's three-quarter inch-thick polycarbonate canopy.


Total damage to the airplane, according to sources inside the Pentagon: $1.28 million. Not only did the firefighters ruin the canopy, which cost $286,000, they also scuffed the coating on the airplane's skin which will cost about $1 million to replace.



The Pentagon currently plans to buy 181 copies of the F-22 from Lockheed Martin, the world's biggest weapons vendor. The total price tag : $65.4 billion.


The incident at Langley has many Pentagon watchers shaking their heads. Tom Christie, the former director of testing and evaluation for the DOD, calls the F-22 incident at Langley "incredible." "God knows what'll happen next," said Christie, who points out that the F-22 has about two million lines of code in its software system. "This thing is so software intensive. You can't check out every line of code."


Now, just for the sake of comparison, Windows XP, one of the most common computer operating systems, contains about 45 million lines of code. But if any of that code fails, then the computer that's running it simply stops working. It won't cause that computer to fall out of the sky. If any of the F-22's two million lines of computer code go bad, then the pilot can die, or, perhaps, just get trapped in the cockpit.


One analyst inside the Pentagon who has followed the F-22 for years said that "Everyone's incredulous. They're asking can this really have happened?" As for Lockheed Martin, the source said, "Whatever the problem was, the people who built it should know how to open the canopy."



Given that the U.S. military is Lockheed Martin's biggest client, perhaps the company could provide the Air Force with a supply of slim jims or coat hangers, just in case another F-22 pilot gets stuck at the controls.



As if the latest canopy shenanigans weren't bad enough, on May 1, Defense News reported that there are serious structural problems with the F-22. Seems the titanium hull of the aircraft isn't meshing as well as it should. Naturally, taxpayers have to foot the bill for the mistake (improper heat-treating of the titanium) which is found on 90 aircraft. The cost of repairing those wrinkles? Another $1 billion or so.


Lockheed Martin's F-22 spokesman, Joe Quimby, did not return telephone calls.




Our tax dollars at work!
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post #2 of 24 Old 01-24-2007, 04:28 PM
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April 10 what year? there were pictures on the site of that poor guy waiting to get cut out of the thing.

Sarah Palin and friends can call it a snow machine all they want but Yamaha, Polaris and Bombardier plus the related magazines all seem to call them Snowmobiles.

Snow machines create snow on ski slopes. Just sayin'
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post #3 of 24 Old 01-24-2007, 04:30 PM
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Joe Quimby? really? Like Mayor "Diamond" Joe Quimby on the Simpsons, too funny.

Sarah Palin and friends can call it a snow machine all they want but Yamaha, Polaris and Bombardier plus the related magazines all seem to call them Snowmobiles.

Snow machines create snow on ski slopes. Just sayin'
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post #4 of 24 Old 01-24-2007, 04:31 PM Thread Starter
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Attachment 27008

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Last edited by FAF; 02-04-2007 at 10:46 AM.
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post #5 of 24 Old 01-24-2007, 04:32 PM
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http://www.spaceref.com/news/viewsr.html?pid=20396

Sarah Palin and friends can call it a snow machine all they want but Yamaha, Polaris and Bombardier plus the related magazines all seem to call them Snowmobiles.

Snow machines create snow on ski slopes. Just sayin'
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post #6 of 24 Old 01-24-2007, 04:32 PM
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so that's where my raise went 2.
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post #7 of 24 Old 01-24-2007, 04:53 PM
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Awesome! I wonder if I can use this as a Tax deduction?
Canopy replacement cost is $182,205?

wow, right off of $182,205.00, maybe um, prorate that over 5 years. thats so cool! Won't have to spend a dime in taxes for 5 years!

GO Lockheed Martin!
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post #8 of 24 Old 01-24-2007, 05:15 PM
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What's with the hazmat suits while cutting the plastic canopy??

And where was the emergency inside release that over-rides the darn software?

I work with stuff that's high tech but way simpler than this (industrial robots) and a mandatory code requirement is that any access door must "easily be unlocked from the inside ... with or without power available ..."

It would really suck if that door wouldn't open when the pilot hit the eject button ...


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post #9 of 24 Old 01-24-2007, 05:36 PM
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you guys DON'T even want me to begin with how much of the tax payers dollars are wasted daily. my job as a contracting officer is to get the best bang for your buck. unfortunatly, the way our regualtions are set up and with idiots that are supposid "experts" in their fields, that just doesnt happen. we piss on $1M like its pocket change, literally!

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post #10 of 24 Old 01-24-2007, 07:09 PM
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i like the coat-hanger ideal!!!lol
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