76 Having an internally rusted CX500 center stand come apart whilst putting the bike onto it.
77 Discovering when you stop and try to put your foot down that the kickstart lever is up your pant leg.
78 Letting your wife drive the bike and having her stall it on an inclined driveway while in a 45 degree angle to the incline.
79 Entering a banked freeway onramp with a stoplight at the end, and realizing a little too late that the downside is just a _little_ steeper than you thought.
80 Whacking the throttle open on the highway when you think there's no cop around then slowing to normal speed again only to realize that a trooper has been trying to catch up with you for two miles and he's pissed so he decides to run you off the road because he thinks you were trying to run away from him, even though you explain to him that if you were trying to run that he wouldn't have caught you then getting out of any ticjet because *@!!$#, uh I mean cop, felt bad even though he never said "I'm sorry" . . . .but I'm not bitter.
81 While pushing your bike in an attempt to start it by compression, jumping on side-saddle with excessive vigor.
82 Successfully compression starting your bike while running along side, only to find out that you'd held a BIT too much throttle!
83 Deploying the centre-stand without noticing that the ground falls away on the other side.
84 Taking the wife on a ride on your brand new, first bike in 20+ years and making a slow, tight, turn on gravel.
85 Riding in stilettos and getting stuck on the footrest.
86 Swinging your legs too enthusiastically over the bike with tight trousers on and kicking it over.
87 Dismounting while trying not to wet yourself (cold weather..tuh!)
88 Riding short distances side-saddle fashion.
89 Pulling off with a blood alcohol level exceeding the stated limit.
90 Reaching down to pick up your gloves/keys/glasses.
91 Paying too much attention to the tiltometer on your valkarie.
92 Dropping your dirtbike on the side of a steep hill covered in pine humus, then while getting it righted go over the down side because it's too far of an angle to get a foot down.
93 Trying to ride away on the side of a steep hill covered in pine humus which is slipperier than sand.
94 Bopping down the freshly-oiled farm lane to see the neighbor kid with my brother on the back, cautiously toeing the rear brake, feeling the rear wheel slide as we headed straight for the barn, grabbing a panicky handful of front brake, doing a slow highside despite dabbing mightily, sliding right up to the barn door prone on the well-oiled bike with my brother on top of the pile, and hearing the neighbor say "Didn't that thing used to be orange?"
95 kill the bike while leaned over trying to make a slow, sharp turn in a parking lot.
96 Forgetting to remove the disc lock and taking off from the curb with haste...Tends to break the front caliper, too.
97 Falling asleep.
98 Getting help from a neighbor in pushing your 750 up a steep ramp into a moving truck. Though he might assure you that he used to ride a motorcycle, it turns out it was a 125 in Bombay. He gets 2/3 of the way up the ramp, looks panicked, and his knees buckle. Crunch.
99 Looking at the pretty curb to your left on a right-hand bank.
100 Trying to get a wasp or bee out of your jacket while sitting on the bike.
101 Trying to start out in a quick turn (leaning in anticipation of giving it throttle) and stalling it out because the engine hasn't warmed yet - it's a nice, slow drop...
102 Forgetting to put in oil after an oil change. Starting 'er up, and wondering why the low oil pressure dummy light doesn't turn off.
103 After a brake job, forgetting to pump the lever/pedal a few times, and taking off, wondering why there's no brakes as you're coming up on the intersection.
104 Having a mechanical gate close on you as you're trying to ride through.
105 Hitting that patch of sand which has washed across the road on a blind bend.
106 Absentmindedly putting the bike on the kick stand and walking away before you check to see if the driveway is level.
107 Applying your usual amount of throttle but with a passenger behind you ... "cool ... look at that plane".
108 Pushing your bike into a crowded garage, letting it get leaned just a little away from you, pulling you on top of it into your vintage MG.
109 Popping a wheelie while showing off for a girl, almost looping it, slamming on the rear brake to compensate, and passing out from the bollocking several yards later.
110 Assuming the puddle of liquid behind the convenience store was water when it was actually used motor oil.
111 Starting bike while habitually squeezing clutch lever, standing to the left of the bike, remembering too late that the bike is in gear. Realize too late that the choke gives the bike enough power to drag you 30' across the parking lot in first gear.
112 On your third ride with your first ever bike. Stop at a red light. When the light turns green, you have to start uphill, and turn right at the same time. Somehow that overwhelmed me.
113 Parking on a bit of an incline (slopes down right to left), having your left foot slip a little when getting back on the bike, and slowly loosing your balance.
114 Let your buddy ride it. And if you are really stupid let him ride it again.
115 Turning onto a busy street and in the middle of the turn you suddenly remember that this street has trolley tracks.
116 Put armor all on your tires to make them look nice and pretty and then ride on the white safety lane line as you take a HARD right turn at 35mph.
117 Throw a party and get together with a random girl on your bike in the garage while extremely drunk.
118 Pull into parking and failed to ensure proper extension of the sidestand then with near perfect execution of the Laugh-in scene where the bike topples over onto your leg, and you're going down, pinned beneath.
119 Stop for gas, carefully shut off ignition and take key out (to unlock tank), carefully remove helmet and set it over mirror, carefully remove gloves and place on instruments, open jacket, step off bike ... forgetting to put sidestand down.
120 With bike off, try to make walking U-turn in driveway. Bike doesn't have necessary turning radius, front wheel leaves pavement and goes into soft dirt.
121 The setting: Bikes at inside end of driveway, on centerstands, facing away from front of driveway. Backing cage into driveway ... slowly ... at about the right point, stop ... note that cover on bike #1 is moving slightly ... notice bike #1 ever-so-slowly roll forward off its centerstand, then sideways into bike #2. Bike #2 stands there and takes it without falling ... but there's no way to get it to lift #1.
122 Tweaking the front brake at a light as you JUST come to a stop with the forks turned to either side at ALL on a top-heavy bike.
123 Jump an old dirt bike over your parents' fence (use a rramp to get enough height). Realize on the way down that you *don't* know how to land. (I believe this was caused by "Adolescent Invincibility Syndrome".)
124 Test-ride an Electra Glide Sport (OK, these days it would have to be a Road King) around the old, cracked pavement in Brisbane near the Cow Palace.
125 Have a BMW with the sidestand linked to the clutch lever, so that pulling in the clutch retracts the stand.
126 Put the bike back together after waiting months since the last crash for a part to arrive, and don't install fuel filters. Gas tank rust clogs carburetor float needles, overflow tubes lube rear tire, brake to avoid manhole cover in curve, the waited-for part is broken.
127 Park next to some %$#@ on a Triumph who leaves his disc lock on, and return to find your XV1100 with a few dents and a little note saying 'Sorry' in the brake lever. (I left my phone number too...)
128 While riding home the day after getting your shiny new bike turn onto a dirt road and discover that they are in the process of combing the road and your front tire is now sliding through four inches of loose wet sand (Did I mention it was raining). While picking up your bike be sure to grind plenty of sand into the tank.