Man laws!!! - Kawasaki ZX-10R.net
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 14 Old 01-22-2007, 11:31 PM Thread Starter
GP Rider
 
ninjamaster6-10's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Cody,Wy
Posts: 1,088
Posting Frequency
Images: 35
    
Man laws!!!

Read em,live em!!!!
Man Laws

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.

(c) After wrecking your boss' car.

(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".

(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden; however complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask whose playing.

10: You may fluctuate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to cl_ max. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos, Ever, Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem. You didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:

(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!

(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!

(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:

(a) Both urinating,

(b) Both waiting in line, etc.

(c)For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics, Ever.

29: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below.

a. "GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

b. "BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the *** and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion.
ninjamaster6-10 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 14 Old 01-23-2007, 01:29 AM
GP Rider
 
djblacksuperman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Waco, Texas
Posts: 1,668
Posting Frequency
   
Send a message via AIM to djblacksuperman Send a message via MSN to djblacksuperman Send a message via Yahoo to djblacksuperman
couldnt have said any of those better myself...

djblacksuperman is offline  
post #3 of 14 Old 01-23-2007, 08:16 AM
FAF
Rent this space
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 6,590
Posting Frequency
Images: 8
           
I'm hip with that !
FAF is offline  
post #4 of 14 Old 01-23-2007, 06:18 PM
Champion Rider
 
zxerboy22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: From PA, Live in Quantico VA
Posts: 416
Posting Frequency
Images: 3
  
Sounds good to me..... All in favor, MANLAW!!!!
zxerboy22 is offline  
post #5 of 14 Old 01-23-2007, 06:36 PM
WSB Rider
 
bradshow01's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Norman, Ok
Posts: 828
Posting Frequency
   
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iU0tG...elated&search=


the rest of them are there, including ones not aired
bradshow01 is offline  
post #6 of 14 Old 01-23-2007, 06:45 PM
WSB Rider
 
bradshow01's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Norman, Ok
Posts: 828
Posting Frequency
   
and check this out:
http://www.manlaws.com/fhm/
bradshow01 is offline  
post #7 of 14 Old 01-23-2007, 06:47 PM
GP Star
 
shenanigans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Mission Viejo,CA
Posts: 2,251
Posting Frequency
Images: 7
  
Send a message via AIM to shenanigans
new man law

Quote:
Originally Posted by FAF
I'm hip with that !
I am making a new man law. no man should ever say "i'm hip with that" Ever under any circumstance. all in favor
shenanigans is offline  
post #8 of 14 Old 01-23-2007, 06:48 PM
GP Star
 
BigDally's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Springfield, TN USA
Posts: 2,248
Posting Frequency
    
Send a message via MSN to BigDally
"When she is using her teeth."

D

Big Dally
BigDally is offline  
post #9 of 14 Old 01-23-2007, 06:48 PM
GP Star
 
BigDally's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Springfield, TN USA
Posts: 2,248
Posting Frequency
    
Send a message via MSN to BigDally
Quote:
Originally Posted by shenanigans
I am making a new man law. no man should ever say "i'm hip with that" Ever under any circumstance. all in favor
...I....

D

Big Dally
BigDally is offline  
post #10 of 14 Old 01-23-2007, 07:26 PM
GP Rider
 
ram360's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Wilkes Barre, PA
Posts: 1,360
Posting Frequency
Images: 2
  
Send a message via AIM to ram360
Quote:
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
I can see myself saying that














PS. I'm not married
ram360 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Kawasaki ZX-10R.net forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in











Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Absurd, archaic, weird laws Spacecoast 10R The Out House 41 12-20-2006 06:46 PM
LMAO Man laws THE WEB SITE!!!!! 10 speed The Out House 11 08-01-2006 08:10 AM
man laws. 10 speed The Out House 9 07-29-2006 09:49 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome