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post #1 of 14 Old 01-11-2007, 04:26 PM Thread Starter
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Joke of the day

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.


After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.


By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.


"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, ! dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."


"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for thirty eight years."


"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."


"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."



Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.



The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..



You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.



My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.



A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.



Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.



A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."


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post #2 of 14 Old 01-11-2007, 05:07 PM
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nice one!!
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post #3 of 14 Old 01-11-2007, 05:12 PM
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and do'nt forget this one
My wife is a water sign I'm a earth sign together we made mud
or my wife says ' I do'nt like you when you're drinking' my reply ' well I do'nt like you when I'm sober'

VAE VICTUS!

RIP James R Patterson 6/3/30-5/26/09
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post #4 of 14 Old 01-11-2007, 05:16 PM
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Dear Lordy!

...yall better not let your wives read this....

D

Big Dally
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post #5 of 14 Old 01-11-2007, 05:45 PM
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Thats funny!!!..........

.
“Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.” --General George S. Patton
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post #6 of 14 Old 01-11-2007, 05:54 PM
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Some funny stuff there dudes.
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post #7 of 14 Old 01-11-2007, 11:18 PM
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Best thing I ever did was get rid of mine

Taking the WORLD over 1 Blonde at a time
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post #8 of 14 Old 01-11-2007, 11:28 PM
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It might be irrelevant, but fvck-it...
I'm telling it.
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post #9 of 14 Old 01-11-2007, 11:30 PM
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Them's funny for sure!

Some days will stay a thousand years, some pass like the flash of a spark.
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post #10 of 14 Old 01-12-2007, 07:23 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Slims10R

Best thing I ever did was get rid of mine
Yeah..mine got rid of herself...

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