How long to wait before proposing? - Kawasaki
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post #1 of 46 Old 09-05-2012, 11:41 PM Thread Starter
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How long to wait before proposing?

Let me start off by saying that I'm in no rush to get married. Nor am I looking for justification to propose. I'm just looking for advice for those of you who have been there, good and bad. This is my first time being in a relationship where I have felt like marriage was a real possibility.

Backstory: I am 23 yrs old, college grad, and just landed a job. She is 22 and also a grad who has a good job. We have been dating a year. I'll spare you all the mushy details, but I really can't see myself with ever wanting to be with anybody else. And recently, the thought of marriage/engagement/proposal is starting to linger in my mind. Not necessarily that I should do it, but just that it is the next logical step.

I have other friends that have been dating for 3-6 years and they aren't engaged. I don't think I could see myself waiting that long. But at the same time, I feel like a year isnt long enough.

When did you know your significant other was "the one?" Have you ever felt that way about somebody and then lost it? How long do you think you should be with somebody before you take the plunge? Anything to look out for?

Any advice is welcome, and thanks guys

will i know when its finally done?
this whole life's a hallucination.
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post #2 of 46 Old 09-06-2012, 12:00 AM
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wait as long as you possibly can............ cause if things don't work out you can get your stuff and leave, and if you're married she will take your stuff and you will leave lol
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post #3 of 46 Old 09-06-2012, 12:34 AM
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I think it is more personal than a single time frame. I had a friend who married is best friend in college. they never dated just hung out alot and got close then thought lets make this permanent. They were happily married for 10 years when she died from a tubal pregnancy. he was pretty tore up and moped for 9 months met somebody and was getting married 3 months later. They seem happy after 2 years together.

My parents were knew each other for 4 months. they made it 24 years before they divorced but not really happy the last 15. Then I worked with a guy that had been living with his girlfriend for 3 years (not sure how long they knew each other before moved in together). He was faithful for all that time but 3 months after they said "I do" she was feeling trapped and looking for some strange.

I don't think there are any rules to knowing when to marry, If it is right it's right. I haven't ever felt that way about anybody yet so take that for what its worth. The only advice I got from my dad was "when you go to college and get serious about somebody, bring her home. I will cook a big dinner. if she gets up and does the dishes without being asked, She is a keeper".

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post #4 of 46 Old 09-06-2012, 12:37 AM
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Everyone feels like that. It's called being in love. Run for your life while you can.

Seriously though, I'm a completely different person now to who I was at 23. But when I was 23 I thought I knew myself. I didn't.
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post #5 of 46 Old 09-06-2012, 12:50 AM
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Dated a yr

I proposed, had a 5 month engagement.

Sept 1st was our 11yr anni.

Last edited by okie; 09-06-2012 at 12:55 AM.
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post #6 of 46 Old 09-06-2012, 02:05 AM
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An easier question to answer is "when is it OK to start farting around a new girlfriend?" Once you get that one sorted out then, move on to bigger concerns like when to propose.

Always do a prenup too. Do it at the beginning when you are both on good terms and it protects both of you (who knows these days, she could be the one that becomes a multi-millionaire). If you never get divorced then, it's just a worthless piece of paper that ended up meaning nothing. You just don't want to figure out how to settle a divorce if you end up hating each others guts and if she won't agree to a prenup, that tells you something also.
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post #7 of 46 Old 09-06-2012, 02:19 AM Thread Starter
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hahaha i actually fart on her daily. i will call her over all sweetly and then fart on her. or in bed i dutch oven her almost nightly.

maybe she is the one....

will i know when its finally done?
this whole life's a hallucination.
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post #8 of 46 Old 09-06-2012, 02:20 AM Thread Starter
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herp derp double posted

will i know when its finally done?
this whole life's a hallucination.
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post #9 of 46 Old 09-06-2012, 07:08 AM
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if you're even asking the question..... wait and then.... wait some more

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post #10 of 46 Old 09-06-2012, 07:12 AM
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Have you guys had any real fights? That will be the main Test right there. Not saying fighting is good or anything but it WILL happen. You can love a woman to death and everything be perfect until one big fight then neither of you will know how to act and shit can fall apart quick. As long as you guys know how to work through your problems and your both honest and loyal I think you'll be fine. Congrats man!!

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