The great English language... - Kawasaki ZX-10R.net
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post #1 of 12 Old 09-27-2005, 04:11 PM Thread Starter
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Talking The great English language...

Got this from the cmra board...thought Id pass it on.

For yall over the pond...good luck!

Quote:
I'm constantly reading things and laughing to myself about the little things... It never ceass to amaze me that it makes sense when it shouldn't after you look at it from a different perspective...

If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius!
This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the
brave.
Peruse at your leisure, English lovers.
Following are reasons why the English language is so hard to learn. . .


1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. They formed a
row
on the side of the canoe.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine
in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers
don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? If you have a bunch of odds and
ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it
out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

If pro is the opposite of con... is Progress the opposite of Congress?



For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil full of deadly poison.
James 3:7,8

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post #2 of 12 Old 09-27-2005, 04:16 PM
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"I" before "E" except after "C".


Weird eh?

I've got something to say...It's better to burn up, than to fade away!

Please, call me Burner.
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post #3 of 12 Old 09-27-2005, 04:18 PM
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cool list, wish i knew a thing or two about computers i'd try and forward it to my email buddies
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post #4 of 12 Old 09-27-2005, 04:19 PM
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& there's no F in sense!

Has anyone seen my marbles ?
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post #5 of 12 Old 09-27-2005, 04:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by latdrop
cool list, wish i knew a thing or two about computers i'd try and forward it to my email buddies

Highlight by dragging the mouse over the entire list then right click and copy.
then go to your email program and start an email to all your buddies. (your whole address book) then in the body of the email right click again and paste..viola...you have successfully cut and pasted..

05 lime green. Sato slip-on, pc3usb, bmc race filter.
"when ya lose site of why ya ride then you've lost what really matters"---THE MOTORHEAD
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post #6 of 12 Old 09-27-2005, 05:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by busaforhire
Highlight by dragging the mouse over the entire list then right click and copy.
then go to your email program and start an email to all your buddies. (your whole address book) then in the body of the email right click again and paste..viola...you have successfully cut and pasted..
thanks BFH,

Hill was so fast on the draw that he emailed the list to me...
now that i read this, it SOUNDS easy...
i'll try it with something else soon...
thanks again guys...
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post #7 of 12 Old 09-27-2005, 05:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hillcountry10r
If pro is the opposite of con... is Progress the opposite of Congress?
This saying is definitely correct.

Interesting read.

Don't confuse me with facts, my mind is already made up.
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post #8 of 12 Old 09-27-2005, 06:03 PM
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You do know that it was Shakespeare that really made the English language what it is today. He lifted it almost literally out of the gutter(al) languages and did a "Red Bull" on it.

Some days will stay a thousand years, some pass like the flash of a spark.
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post #9 of 12 Old 09-27-2005, 08:29 PM
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Rofl

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post #10 of 12 Old 09-27-2005, 09:44 PM
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I felt like I forgot how to read when looking at that. To many words that are the same BUTT different.

Fear is interest paid on a debt you may not owe.
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