COMPLICATED Computer Software (funny) - Kawasaki ZX-10R.net
 
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post #1 of 7 Old 01-25-2007, 09:21 AM Thread Starter
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COMPLICATED Computer Software (funny)

Appologies to those who have seen it already.

> Dear Tech Support:

>

> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed

> that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

>

> In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now

> monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Golfing 3.6.

>

> I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to

> run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

>

> Thanks,

> Troubled User.....

>

> _____________________________________

> REPLY:

> Dear Troubled User:

>

> This is a very common problem that men complain about.

>

> Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it

> is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

>

> You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to

> not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

>

> The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE!

> because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

>

> Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance

> . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .

>

> However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will

> cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

>

> WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With

> Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

>

> Best of luck,

>

> Tech Support

>

"The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering"-Bruce Lee
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post #2 of 7 Old 01-25-2007, 10:42 AM
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I've seen similar, but that one is the funniest. Especially since our VP of Operations tried Secretary with Bigs T*ts 2.2 and it cost him dearly. Men never learn.
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post #3 of 7 Old 01-25-2007, 10:54 AM
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Sarah Palin and friends can call it a snow machine all they want but Yamaha, Polaris and Bombardier plus the related magazines all seem to call them Snowmobiles.

Snow machines create snow on ski slopes. Just sayin'
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post #4 of 7 Old 01-25-2007, 12:19 PM
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haha, thats great!!

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- 152.5rwhp 77.6rwtq - more than I need

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post #5 of 7 Old 01-25-2007, 01:15 PM
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post #6 of 7 Old 02-04-2007, 04:25 PM
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No problem, just wait for the service pack.

Some days will stay a thousand years, some pass like the flash of a spark.
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post #7 of 7 Old 02-04-2007, 07:26 PM
I really need to get out of the house
 
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that was good.

Rain. Whats is this Rain i keep hearing?.
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