Can you help a sister out - See Resume - Kawasaki ZX-10R.net
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post #1 of 11 Old 01-19-2007, 11:25 PM Thread Starter
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Can you help a sister out - See Resume

Any openings in your office for this person? This sister has sent her resume to me for help, but I'm forwarding to you to look over and help her out?


GHETTO RESUME

(No Picture, won't show)
Rozonda LaQueets “Pookie” Jenkins
2036 South Side Skreet Projects
Compton, CA 11122
Phone: Cut off right now but will be back on by the 15th.




OBJECTIVE
To one day fulfill my dream of becoming a SoulTrain Dancer and, you know, just gittin my life together and stuff. I also hope to one day be the best cosmotologecalist in the ‘hood.’

SKILLS
I do hurh and nails in my kitchen and I use my glitter and weave bonding glue for arts and crafts and stuff. I do braids in any texture or color; synthetic or human hurh.

EDUCATION
The “GET YOURS” Home Correspondence Course, INC
Big Mamma’s House of Hair ‘N Nails “N Fried Chicken “N Stuff (Gradiated with honors for themost extensions don in a year’s time)

WORK EXPERIENCE

January 10, 1999-January 30, 1999
BIG DADDY’S MOTEL MOTOR LODGE BAR AND GRILL POOL HALL AND BAIT “N TACKLESHOP
Reason for leaving; I got sick ’n tired of Big Daddy hittin on me.

March 1, 1999-November 1, 1999
THE GOLDEN TOOTH DENTAL AND JEWELRY EMPORIUM
I loveded this job cuz they gave me a free toof ary monf and now I can spell my baby daddy name but they done up and fired me cuz I let one of my jomeboys sniff the laughing gas. He just smelt it, he don’t do drugs no mo.

November 2, 1999-November 10, 1999
MY BABY DADDY’S DAY CA4RE CENTER CAR WASH AND BARBER SHOP
Reason for leaving: They tried to work a sistuh ta deaf and I got thangs ta do

November 12, 1999-November 14, 1999
KIM FUNG TOI’S HOUSE OF RICE AND SKRIMPS AND STUFF
Reason for Leaving: You don’t even wanna know

November 18, 1999-November 19, 1999
JIMMY’S JHERI CURLS AND MOTOR LUBE
Reason for leaving: Hospitalized for spine injury when I slpped on an overflow of activator



December 2, 1999-December 2, 1999
THE IKE TURNER PIMP SLAP RECOVERY CENTER (They have lovely commodations; yes I worked there and was a patient too.)
Reason for leaving: Center closed down cuz Tina Turner done refused Ike’s request to give a benefit concert and donate the money to Ike. Ike say Tina done got beside haself since she a big star and arythang. He say he remember when she was Anna Mae Bullock from Nut Bush, Tennessee.


REFERENCES

LaWanda Jenkins (from up the skreet)

Hezakiah Clevestus “The Playa” Jones (my homie’s cuzzin’s babydaddy)

The Right Reverend Aliza Benjarmin “Ineedadrank” O’grady (pastor of the Greater Mt. Carmel Church of God in Christ Kingdom Hall of Our Lady of Saints Holy Rosary Latter Day Seventh Advent Saints Episcapaleen Sanctified Non-Denominational Baptist Church Inc., a not-for-profit agency.)

It might be irrelevant, but fvck-it...
I'm telling it.
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post #2 of 11 Old 01-19-2007, 11:52 PM
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post #3 of 11 Old 01-20-2007, 12:32 AM
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i think i worked with her before
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post #4 of 11 Old 01-20-2007, 08:54 AM
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post #5 of 11 Old 01-20-2007, 09:21 AM
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Now that's funny.
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post #6 of 11 Old 01-20-2007, 06:44 PM
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"WORK EXPERIENCE

January 10, 1999-January 30, 1999
BIG DADDY’S MOTEL MOTOR LODGE BAR AND GRILL POOL HALL AND BAIT “N TACKLESHOP
Reason for leaving; I got sick ’n tired of Big Daddy hittin on me."


Hmmmmm. What shall we make of this?

"The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering"-Bruce Lee
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post #7 of 11 Old 01-21-2007, 01:58 PM
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How did you get my momma's resume...
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post #8 of 11 Old 01-21-2007, 03:16 PM
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What's really sad is that I run a retail store and many of the applications I get in are not far off from that.
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post #9 of 11 Old 01-21-2007, 03:18 PM
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my mom used to write up professional resume's 4 people... and i think by far this is the WORST one i've EVER seen... definetly the funniest tho. and if this was real... that person needs there ass whooped...

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post #10 of 11 Old 01-21-2007, 03:29 PM
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huh?? she has worked fer BD?? and he hit on her?? damn......lol

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