Good battery, bike dies at the click of the start button
I wake up this morning and ride to the store (1/2 mile away). I leave the store, put the key in the ignition and turn it. Everything seems normal, and there were no previous signs of any forthcoming issues. The dash lights up, the needle does it's thing, etc. I hit the start button and it dies. Doesn't start, didn't try to turn over. I don't recall hearing a sound at all. I turn the key off, turn it back on, and the dash does NOT light up, but the needle does it's thing. Odd. No lights, nothing, I try to start it regardless... nothing.
Call the neighbor and come jump me (wishful thinking). It starts and runs with the cables connected. As soon as you pull the cables off it dies. So I just catch a ride back to the house with the battery in hand just for shits and gigles. I "charge" it up, which took less than 30 minutes. It tested fine even before the charge.
An hour or so later, I go back with the wife, some fuses, and a multimeter. Best case scenario: fuse... worst case: I walk the bike back home. Well, it started fine surprisingly, so I ran it home real quick. Got it into the garage, cut it off, waited a few seconds and tried to turn it back on. Same thing that happened earlier. It lit up, and then cut off when I hit the start button. Afterward, it wouldn't even light up.
I went to the dealership to have my wife's tires mounted, and asked them about it while I was there. They suggested fuses, or a bad connection somewhere.
I check the fuses, they're all good, unless there's another box somewhere I don't know about? I don't know where to go from here.